


Hand Prints

by atlascas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Bottom Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Nephilim, Other, Possible Miscarriage, Top Castiel, Top!Cas, Unwanted Pregnancy, bottom!Dean, mpreg!Dean, nephilims
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-09-05 15:29:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlascas/pseuds/atlascas
Summary: Dean wasn’t broken, he was breaking.also on Wattpad bc this shit is comPLEX sometimes ;)





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes Dean loved Castiels angelic abilities. How he could teleport with anyone alongside him; destroy almost any threat within seconds; and heal anyone, with a slight touch. 

But Dean knew this was something Cas couldn't fix. Nobody could fix. Because it wasn't broken. It was merely breaking him. 

Disclaimers  
This book is in no relation to the actors on this show. Please note that this is just a silly book written about people that do not exist. It's really not that serious or deep. Any comments that contain content of the actors will probably be deleted as it would make me and most likely many other people a tad uncomfy. 

Additionally, this is an mpreg. If you don't like it that's understandable, so don't read it! 

Also, I have never written ANYTHING on AO3 before, I only started using it a week ago so I’m rusty as heck. 

(And yes I spell Cas with one S because that's the rIGHT WAY)

That's all I had to say, now, enjoy! xx


	2. sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you’re like me and find Wattpad a bit easier to use, this book is also posted on there under the same title :)

Drained. That's all he felt. He felt as though his brain were a dripping tap, just leaking tiny amounts of energy. His brother sat beside him, rambling on about a case of some sort, of which Dean wasn't listening to. He couldn't listen. His mind was completely occupied with the contrast of racing thoughts and lack of energy, that and trying not to vomit as best he could.  
He knew what was happening, he did, but he refused to believe it. He wasn't very good at dealing with feelings, so instead he'd go to Cas, which of course would end up with what made Dean happy. Sex.  
Of course he loved him, he knew that, and had known for a very long time that he was engulfed in fondness for this angel: his angel. What was great was that he knew he loved him back, which was rare for angels so he knew that what they had was wonderful. Sam had his angel too, they were the lucky ones. The special ones. 

However Dean was tired of that word. It irked him. Over the years it lost all of its meaning and significance, the connotations he had connected to that word were negative and derogatory. You see, Sam wasn't the only one that had been "gifted". When he was 14, he was told that he could carry children, and that he was cursed because of his father breaking a deal with a demon. Understandably Dean was upset, however it wasn't until he came to the realisation that he was bisexual when he was 17, did this really hit him.  
This had always been in the back of his mind, but if it hadn't happened in the years that him and Cas had been together then the curse must've been undone right? Plus the fact that his father had died many years ago and the demon had most likely forgotten. 

But Dean is a Winchester, and nothing gets forgotten. Nothing. 

"Dean? Dean!" He heard a voice fade in and he was pulled out of his daydream. 

"The light is green. You can go." Sam said, looking at him with concern. Dean quickly apologised and continued driving, even though he was terrified of hurting his baby, as in the car. The car. 

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked. "We can drop this case if you want, I can get Gabriel to-" 

"I'm fine Sammy." He muttered, afraid that speaking would encourage his body to vomit.

"You don't look it. You're really pale and you look exhausted..." Sam went on. His voice started to aggravate him. 

"Sam, please, I'm okay. Can you just-" He said, aware that he wasn't really being listened to. Dean suddenly felt his throat and chest go tight, causing him to jerk the steering wheel and turn the car into the side of the road. He practically poured himself out of the car, just before his body chose to throw up everything. Sam got out of the car and waited until he had finished throwing his guts up before giving him a mere pat on the back. 

"You good? Well, I know you're not good but-" He stumbled over his words. Dean sat in the car and sighed, his head in his hands. 

"We should get you home." Sam said. Dean didn't like admitting defeat, but he knew that he had to. He nodded in reply to his brother and swung his legs into the car. 

"Woah woah woah. What do you think you're doing?" He waved his hands. 

"Getting in my car, to go home, to sleep." He said slowly. Sam rolled his eyes and held his hand out for Dean to place the keys. He looked up at him to make sure he was serious. He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. 

"Fine." He slapped the keys in his hand and got in the other side of the car. 

"Good. Please, warn me if you're gonna throw up." He looked over at him from the top of the car. 

"Believe me, I will. Nobody will throw up, in my car. Nobody." Dean said sternly. Sam scoffed and got in the car, as did Dean. 

****

Dean somewhat managed to keep it together on the drive home, somewhat. Once they got back, his legs went weak and everything was spinning. Sam pulled an arm over his shoulder and helped him inside. They fumbled down the stairs and Jack ran to Deans side. 

"Woah are you okay? What's going on?" His eyes darted between the brothers. 

"He's just a little sick." He replied, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself rather than anyone else. 

"Do me a favour, could you go get Cas?" He asked. Dean began to drift off, dragging Sams shoulder down with him. Jack nodded and swiftly jogged to find him. Sam sat him down at the table as he just began to come round again. A whistle came from upstairs as Gabriel poked his nose into what was going on. 

"Jeez, what happened to princess?" He asked and he snapped his book shut. 

"Not feeling too hot." Sam replied. Dean rolled his eyes and went for the beer bottle on the table, but swiftly drew his hand back and scratched his head. 

"Gabe." He called up to him as he stood underneath the balcony. 

"Hm." He cocked an eyebrow at him. 

"Get your suit on, you're coming with me." He spun the keys around his index finger. Gabriel grumbled at him.

"I don't want to. I'm comfy." He pouted. 

"But you look so cute in it." Sam shrugged and smiled at him. He scrunched his nose and smiled. 

"Fiiine. Only because you said so." He sighed. Sam winked at him and he went to get changed. Dean fake gagged at his brother and his flirting. Cas walked in with Jack and rushed to Deans side. 

"Dean, what's the matter?" He asked. Hearing his voice was enough to make him break down in tears, cling on to his coat as he fell so his knees in despair. 

"M'fine." He muttered without looking at him. He couldn't look at him. 

"I'll be in my room." Jack spoke up. Cas nodded and he went. 

"Let me-" Cas went to help him, but Dean pushed his hand away and abruptly stood. 

"Hey, what's going on with you? You know I can heal you with no problems." He shrugged in confusion. 

"It's nothing Cas. I just felt a little car sick is all." Dean snapped, completely tired of him being the centre of everyone's conversation. He felt something in him snap suddenly, wanting him to be furthest away from everyone as possible. He got up and snatched the keys from his brother and made his way up the stairs. 

"Dean, what are you doing? I need those!" Sam called up the stairs. 

"I'm going out." He answered bluntly. Sam went to retort but Cas intervened. 

"Babe, please stay here, we can talk about whatever you need to-" Before he could finish his sentence, Dean had left.  
Gabriel emerged from his room in a grey suit with a red tie. He looked down at Sam and dropped his arms by his side. 

"He took the car didn't he." Gabriel said. Sam sighed and nodded. 

"Forget the fucking case." Sam said as he began to pull off his tie and head to his room. Gabe rolled his eyes and took his blazer off with a sigh. 

****  
Everything was irritating Dean. Everything. Even his favourite Pink Floyd album. He wanted to drive off the end of the earth. But instead, he drove to the furthest gas n sip, which was about 4 hours away. The sunset was beautiful, which Dean found disgusting, as if the world was telling him to perk the fuck up. He couldn't. You'd think that seeing Cas be so caring towards Kelly and so paternal with Jack would make him feel more positive, you'd be wrong. He wanted nothing less than another nephilim in the bunker. 

He pulled into the car park and watched the sky for a bit. He watched the orange, pink and coral clouds turn to blue and purple. His heart felt like it was pounding in his head and throat. He pulled a bag of spare clothes from the back seat and got out the car. He slung the bag over his back and took a deep breath before walking through the door. He awkwardly made eye contact with the gothic teen at the checkout, whom would definitely have trouble with a metal detector. Her hair was neon green, and she chewed her gum loudly as she scrolled through her phone. She nodded at him and he smiled weakly. Aimlessly, he browsed through the magazines and candy, even though he knew exactly what he was there for. He wandered slowly past the tampons and medicines until he reached the tests. Hell, his brain couldn't even comprehend the word in relation to him. Knowingly, being so slow at just buying the damn test was making this evermore painful for him, but he was far too anxious to speed up. Eventually, he polished up the courage to pick up the box, which nearly made him sick. He picked up a bag of Doritos and threw his items on the counter. The green haired employee looked him up and down, taking her earbuds out and wrapping them around her phone, still chewing her gum obnoxiously. She scanned his items and popped a bubblegum bubble with her teeth. The cogs were turning in his mind, trying to think up a comeback to the inevitable smart ass comment that was gonna come from her. 

"8.75 please." She said, her voice was stereotypical and matched her way perfectly. Dean handed over the money, pained at the fact he only had a note, so he had to wait longer. 

"Hey, is there a bathroom around here?" He asked. She looked up at him through her heavy mascara and thick eyeliner, kissing her teeth. 

"Yeah, it's just across the road. You need this though." She said and pulled out a long metal bar, with a tiny key attached to the top. He raised his eyebrows at her. 

"Seriously?" 

"Uhuh, don't ask me why it's attached to that. It's a long ass story and my shift ends in 10 minutes." She shrugged. Dean nodded and left for the bathroom. 

He got changed into his usual attire and stuffed his other clothes into his bag. He stared at the box on the counter and exhaled. 

"Okay. It's okay." He said sadly to himself. His hands shook greatly as he opened the box and pulled out a stick. He read the directions quietly to himself to try and slow his heart rate down a little bit. He followed the instructions and sat the test back on the counter. 

Dean knew what it was going to say, however he still had a glimmer of hope that everything would turn out fine. But since when has anything turned out that way for the Winchester's? Restlessly, he paced back and forth until the timer in his phone went off. 

"It's fine, it's fine. You're gonna be fine." He said breathlessly to himself. He didn't want this, at all. His heart nearly choked him as the tone on his phone sounded. He shook his hands and took a deep breath before opening his eyes. 

Two  
Deux  
Zwei  
Två  
Two

Dean knew there would be, but it now being blatant fact caused him to break down in tears. There it was, two dark pink lines, and there was nothing he could do.  
He grabbed his bag and quickly wiped his tears away, although the lump in his throat remained. He swung open the door of the gas n sip and slammed the key on the counter. He ran out to his car, threw his bag on the backseat and drove. And drove.  
This was the most Dean had cried in a while, so much so that he could barely catch his breath, as through he was being strangled by heartache. As much as he didn't want this to be so, he suddenly felt for Kelly, and felt so foolish of how he treated her and said such awful, unthoughtful things. Which brought something else to mind.

Dean was going to die.


	3. ice cold fear

Castiel was petrified. Dean hadn't come home and wasn't answering his phone and he had turned his teacher off. He felt guilty for not seeing that something was wrong sooner, and he felt as though Dean thought he couldn't talk to him. 

"He'll be back soon. I know he will." Gabriel put a hand on Cas' shoulder sympathetically. 

"When? It's been 14 hours and 32 minutes Gabriel. We should call the police." He replied, tears brimming in his eyes. 

"No. He's okay." Sam spoke up from the other side of the table, behind his laptop. Cas and Gabriel looked at him in unison. 

"He's done this before." He went on. "When he was seventeen. Dad said something to him that made him flip. I forget what it was." He shrugged. 

"And you didn't want to tell me this before, why?" Cas snapped. Sam shut over his laptop and leant over the table. 

"Because Deans timing is very important. He should be back soon. Sometimes he just needs space. Time to himself to belt AC/DC in his car at the top of his lungs. He alright, I know he is."

****  
Dean woke up with a jump as the sound of shutters being opened rattled through his brain. He sat up and adjusted his eyes to see a familiar bright blue building in front of him. He groaned as he gathered his thoughts, realising that he must've cried himself to sleep. Dean didn't mean to stay out for that long, but it probably did him some good. He ruffled his hair in the mirror and rubbed his face, he looked exhausted. He was exhausted. His eyes were puffy and red and his face was pink where he'd aggressively rubbed his tears away. 

Sleepily, Dean turned the keys and backed out of the Gas n Sip car park. He didn't want to go home yet, but he knew he had to. He turned on some music and hummed along to attempt to calm his leftover anxieties. Clueless, and that's not a word that's often used in direct relation to the Winchester's, but that's precisely how Dean Winchester felt. He tapped his fingers along to Back in Black. It wasn't helping. Not one bit. He scoffed at himself and turned the radio off. He was unsure of whether or not the gut feeling in his stomach was remaining apprehension or it telling him he was going to throw up. It was most likely both. 

"God no." Dean grumbled to himself, trying his darnedest to keep the Doritos down. He still couldn't think of this in a positive light. He didn't have long left, he wasn't going to meet his child and he was leaving behind everyone and everything with someone he won't even know. Then there was telling Cas. 

Dean and Cas were very sure of each other. Cas often knew how Dean would react to certain things and Dean often knew how Cas would react to things. Nonetheless, he had no clue as to how he would react if he told him. He adored him, but he had one thing certain, he wasn't telling him today. He knew he only had a certain number of weeks before it was obvious, but one day won't hurt, right?

It's difficult, wanting nothing to do with a living thing growing inside your body. Dean knew that wouldn't change, there was no loving this thing. Ever. It wasn't his child or his darling baby, it was an inconvenience. Nothing more. 

****   
He dragged himself out of the impala and unlocked the door to the bunker. He took a deep breath before walking in. Cas looked up at him from below the stairs and called out to him. 

"Dean!" He ran over and hugged him tight. Dean gingerly hugged him back, afraid that he'd burst into tears if he clung on as much as he wanted to. 

"Hi sweetheart." He said as he pulled away. His voice was hoarse and gravely. 

"Where have you been?" Sam said as he hugged him. 

"Oh you know." Dean stiffened as he felt the plastic test that he forgot to take out of his pocket. "Just on a drive." 

'Well next time, don't go alone." Cas said and drew his chin close with his finger and kissed him sweetly, bringing Dean back to bliss for a moment. 

"I won't." He hummed. Dean pulled away as he felt his stomach churn. He ran past Cas to the nearest bathroom. He rolled his eyes and ran after him. 

"Dean..." he sighed. Dean ignored him as he slammed the bathroom door shut. He leant over the toilet bowl, his body putting him through hell. 

"Hey open the door... baby please..." Cas said as he tried the handle. Dean flushed the toilet and sat on the seat, his head in his hands. He pulled himself over to the sink to wash the disgusting taste of Dorito and bile mix out of his mouth.

"Dean Winchester so help me dad if you don't open this door I'll-" Cas stopped as he slowly opened the door and peered from behind him, not wanting his person to see him in such a state. 

"You were saying?" Dean remarked as he opened the door completely, reversing to sit on the toilet seat as his knees went shaky. 

"Would you please just tell me what's wrong?" Cas said softly as he sat on the edge of the bathtub in front of him. Deans eyes darted around the room, anywhere but Castiels gaze. 

"Food poisoning." He stammered. Anxiously, he rubbed his hands together and bounced his leg. 

"Baby, why didn't you just tell me? You know I can fix that." He replied sweetly and gently cupped the side of his face. His hand eventually made its way to Deans forehead, when he stopped. 

"You're burning up." He pouted. Dean shut his eyes as he went to heal him. The noise sounded but froze, as if it were stuck. He tried again but still, nothing. He swept his healing hand away and stood. 

"Wow, you really are magic. Thank you." 

"You're sure it worked? It didn't feel like it." He glanced down at his hands. 

"I feel much better." He hummed and kissed him, gripping his tie. 

"I love you." Cas said between kisses as Dean sat on his lap. 

"And I, you." 

****  
Everyone sat around the table as they ate their third round of KFC in three days. Dean never thought he be over classic Colonel Sanders, but he was over it. He grimaced as he picked at the drumstick on the paper in front of him. 

"Dean, you good? You've barely touched your food." Sam said. 

"Yeah I'm- I'm good." He smiled. Cas wandered around the table, planting bottles of beer at each persons spot. 

"Probably what gave you food poising huh?" He said as he sat a bottle down for him and kissed his cheek. Deans eyes widened as he stared at the ice cold beer before him. He desperately wanted to, hell he needed to, but something in the back of his mind knew he shouldn't. 

"I'll get it." Cas said as he noticed his hands were already occupied with a chicken drumstick. He took the bottle and pulled the cap off. Oh it was a glorious sound. 

"Thank you babe." He said and took the bottle from him. His hand shook as he gripped it tightly. 

"So, have we heard anything back from Jason?" Jack spoke up. Dean assumed that this was something to do with a case. 

"Yeah, false alarm. Turns out there was just a fault with the heating in his house. No ghost cold spots." Sam said and Gabriel wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Jack nodded and took a sip of his beer. 

"However, I did find something else. Seven separate murders in the past five days. All found with their eyes burnt out." Sam shrugged. Gabriel scoffed and sat beside him. 

"When can we catch a break?" He emphasised and leant on Sams shoulder. 

"We don't. Not when you're a Winchester, or associated with one." He wrapped his arm around him. 

"No fun. Party pooper." Gabe pouted. 

"We should go check it out tomorrow. You up for it Dean?... Dean?" He looked at his brother, clutching the beer bottle intensely. 

"Hey..." Cas touched his arm. He tilted his head to Sam. 

"You up for it?" He repeated. 

"Sure." Dean raised his bottle and finally took a drink. He lowered the bottle and instantly felt a wave of regret and disgrace. He got up and swiftly walked to the kitchen. He heard his name be called several times, but he ignored them. 

He spat the alcohol into the sink and rinsed his mouth out with water. Upset, he rolled his eyes and leant of the counter, his head hung low in shame. 

"What am I going to do with you?"


	4. oh boyfriends brother, oh brothers boyfriend

Castiel marches into the kitchen and slammed the door behind him, making Dean jump. He folded his arms and stood in front of him. Dean knew this wasn't going to be good.

"Tell me, and tell me now." He demanded. Dean curled his lip and shook his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugged in response. Cas dropped his arms by his side and huffed.

"There's something going on with you, Dean. Please just tell me so I can at least try to help." He stressed. Dean rolled his tongue around his mouth and his brain rummaged for an answer.

"There's nothing to fix. I'm just getting over being sick Cas. Shit happens." He instantly felt guilty for saying that.

"I know my healing didn't work, but I feel like I'm treading on thin ice around you lately and I don't like it." Cas said. The way he spoke made his heart hurt and a lump form in his throat. Dean turned away and began to pace slightly.

"It's not often my healing doesn't work, unless my grace isn't intact, which it is. So I'm not leave my here unless you tell me what the fuck is going on with you." Cas pointed at the ground. It wasn't often that he swore like that, which just further twisted the dagger in Deans heart. He was crying, but he held in the screams and sobs the were clawing at his throat and lungs.

"I just wanna move away. Just go, with you." Dean sighed. He wasn't lying, he was just hiding a large part of the equation. "This sucks Cas. I don't want to fucking do it anymore. Why me? Why us? I can't even die without bed my drawn back here or being in some torture chamber."

Cas said nothing, he just sat and listened.

"I want a pretty house. A dog. Y- You could get some job stacking shelves or something, a-and you'd come home to a house smelling of food. Fresh food, good food, it the crap that we get. We'd feel safe and happy. Happy." Dean cried. Cas still remained silent. Listening to the pain in Deans voice hurt him in ways you couldn't image. He stood up from the stool and hugged him close into his chest, tucking his head under his chin and rocking him ever so softly. Dean clung in to the dollar of his jacket and bunched it in his hands. He'd wanted this for so long, but was too afraid he'd shatter.

"We may not get the pretty house you want, or the dog or the cooking, but it it's going to be alright. Things will change and things will get tough, but my love for you can only grow, as long as you let me in. Please don't shut me out, I love you far too much for that to happen." Cas said gently, causing Dean to wince at his pretty words and how he didn't need his powers to heal him, he just needed his words.

"I'm sorry." He cried into his coat. Cas just hugged him tighter.

"It's okay sugar, but please promise me you'll be honest with me from now on, I don't want you worrying so much you make yourself sick again." He pulled away and looked at Deans red, puffy eyes. Nevertheless, they were still beautiful. Cas cupped his face and wiped his tears away with his thumb.

"Promise?" He pouted.

"Promise." Dean blinked.

Yes, he was going to be honest with him, just now right now.

****  
Dean did feel better after Cas' sweet pep-talk, but obviously that didn't make his issue spontaneously vanish. He helped clear up the trash after dinner when Jack spoke up.

"Hey Dean, you okay? You seemed a little off before. Is everything alright?" He smiled sweetly. Dean nodded in response.

"Yeah, fine. Just a little queasy after that food poisoning." He said, brushing him off slightly. He liked the kid, he just didn't like the questions.

"You're good though now, right? If not, I can help!" He sad enthusiastically. Dean held his hand up.

"That won't be necessary. I'm okay." He said through gritted teeth. These questions were getting extremely irritating. He just wanted to forget about it, just for a few hours, minutes even. It was involved with his every thought, he just wanted it to go away.

They finished clearing up and all separated to get some sleep, but Dean knew that would be very unlikely for him. He pulled his bed clothes from the bedroom drawer and darted to the bathroom down the hall. He realised that he hadn't actually 'inspected' his body since found out. Shutting the door behind him, he exhaled and leant against it, clutching his clothes in his arms. Gingerly, he unbuttoned his shirt and glared at his body in the mirror. To the unknowing eye, Deans body would look completely normal, Hell Cas wouldn't even notice. But because he knew it was all his eyes were drawn to. He felt utterly repulsed by how he looked that his hands couldn't even touch his body, it felt incorrect, like two identical magnets trying to come together.

Counting back, Dean was 5 weeks, which even felt wrong for him to have to think about. It all felt wrong, all of it. This shouldn't be happening, not to him.

"Hey Dean? Cas is lookin' for ya." Gabriel knocked on the door. Dean quickly pulled a t-shirt over his head and rubbed his face. It was only when he realised that his hands were wet with tears that he noticed he'd been crying, again.

"I'll be out in a minute." His voice cracked. Gabriel narrowed his eyes.

"No you won't." He muttered to himself as he opened the bathroom door.

"Dean, talk to me. What's going on with you?" He said, surprisingly sweetly. Dean furrowed his brows.

"Will everybody please stop asking me... that fucking question?" He soun in his heels and turned away from him. His hands gripped the sides of his head in frustration and upset. Gabriel shut the door and sat up on the counter.

"You're gonna need to tell someone. You can talk to me you know." He shrugged and swung his legs slightly. Dean was losing it. He felt his brain spill over as he paced back and fourth. He felt as though he was choking in his own words as they begged him to just say the words.

"Because I can't help if you don't-" He continued.

"I'm pregnant." He said. The words felt like poison on his tongue. He couldn't look at Gabriel. Not yet.

"Nah cmon Dean. Don't kid around with me." He said, his tone laced with disbelief. Dean gripped his shoulders.

"Do I sound like I'm fucking kidding." He spat. The room went silent.

"Cas'?" He asked. He turned around, annoyed at his little games.

"Who else would it be?!" He whispered. Gabriel held his hands up.

"Sorry, you gotta ask these things!" He answered, now whispering too. Dean opened one of the cupboards and pulled out a bag filled with the tests he'd done, as he felt that Gabriel didn't believe him. He payed them out on the countertop and gestured to them.

"Holy shit." He picked one up and gazed at it. "You can't deny that." He chuckled in shock.

"I peed on that." Dean took it from him. Gabriel grimaced and rinsed his hands. He leant against a wall and looked at Gabriel for some sort of answer, anything.

"What are you gonna do?" He slurred.

"I was going to ask you the same question." Dean shrugged.

"You need to tell him. This can't be hidden, you know that right?" He spoke. Dean rolled his eyes and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, curiously close to his stomach. He nodded in response. Gabriel just stared at the occasional display of his stomach, where Dean was fidgeting with his t-shirt.

"How far?" He questioned.

"I'm not sure, but probably five weeks, give or take." He twitched. Gabriel whistled.

"Phew, not long then." He pushed himself off the counter. Deans neck nearly snapped at how fast he looked at Gabriel.

"Until what?" He said bluntly.

"You start showing. This isn't your run of the mill pregnancy you know? It's fast." He smirked. Deans heart began to race. He turned to leave before he put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"Please, don't tell anyone. I'm not ready." He pleaded. Gabriel looked him up and down, analysing him.

"That's not for you to decide." He remarked. Dean dropped his arm and watched as Gabriel left. He called out from the hallway, making Dean feel numb.

"Times a tickin' Deano!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is kind of a dick oops but I just find that part of his charm.  
> I'm really enjoying writing this, even though it's torture for me to put Dean through something like this.  
> I hope you're enjoying too!


	5. snitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there’s any mistakes I’m really sorry! Im not doing so hot right now but I really wanted to write something. Please enjoy if you can oops.

Gabriel stared eerily at Dean from across the table, refusing to break eye contact. Dean just sat and picked at his bacon and eggs, as he was afraid that someone might catch on to his true situation. He wanted everyone to think his 'food poisoning' had, at last, disappeared. Picking at the scrambled egg with his fork, he looked up at Gabe through his eyelashes. He raised his eyebrows at him and rolled his eyes around the room. 

"You alright Gabe?" Sam asked. He sighed and hummed. 

"Yeah. Just think I might have a bit of food poisoning." He said, snarky. Dean furrowed his eyebrows at him and shook his head. He thought he could trust him, but boy was he foolish. 

"Archangels can't get food poisoning, can they?" Jack raised an eyebrow and looked at Cas for confirmation. He shook his head. 

"No they can't. Gabriel, is your grace intact?" Cas stood. Dean rolled his eyes and gripped his fork in his fist. It was taking everyone he had not to launch it at Gabriel. 

"He's fine." Dean growled. Everyone looked in his direction, but he didn't make eye contact. 

"But, how do you- Gabe could be seriously ill, he could-" Sam fussed over him, putting his hands on his shoulders. Gabriel sat smug in his chair. Dean felt as though hed backed him into a corner by a lion. 

"He's fine." Dean bent his fork with his thumb. Castiels eyes widened at him. He felt this sudden wave of unbelievable fury. He got up and stormed towards his room, Cas got up to follow him before he chimed back in. 

"He bro." Gabriel said. Cas turned look at him. He went to answer but he cut him off. 

"Not you, him." He pointed towards a familiar figure that spontaneously appeared. 

Michael. 

"Hello, Gabriel...Castiel." He said. Deans body tensed and froze at the voice. He slowly reversed to face him. His anxiety sky rocketed like a thermometer in lava. 

"What are you doing here?" Cas stood protectively by Deans side, taking his hand in his, his angel blade falling into the palm of the other. 

"Ah ah, no need." Michael said, gazing at the blade. "I'm just here to talk." 

"Bullshit." Sam said, looking him up and down, scanning him for potential threats or weapons. 

"Language Samuel." He scorned. "Now brother, what do you have me here for?" Gabriel looked at him, then over at Dean to remind him. 

"Ahh yes." He clapped his hands. "The nephilim." 

Deans heart was pounding out of his chest and he squeezed Cas' hand tighter than ever. Cas looked behind him at Jack. 

"Most of Jacks powers have been obliterated. What is it you'd want with him?" He shook his head in confusion. 

"Oh, not that nephilim, this nephilim." He pointed at Dean. He felt sick. Everyone looked puzzled, other than Gabe and Dean of course. Gabriel smirked as he watched Deans chest move faster with his breathing. 

"Dean isn't a nephilim." Sam scoffed a laugh. Michael looked at him. 

"Oh I know he isn't. But his baby is." 

Deans eyes filled with tears as he watched the faces of his family drop. 

"What are you talking about?!" Cas yelled, making Dean wince. 

"Oh, how awful! He hasn't told you. Dean, how could you do that to your baby daddy." He pouted. 

"That's enough." Dean said, his voice was weak and trembly. Sam looked at his brother, his heart was shattering. 

"Dean, is it true?" He asked. He chewed his lip and nodded. 

Cas dropped Deans hand and stood away from him. His mouth agape he blinked rapidly as he tried his best to process this. 

"Well, looks like my work here is done." Michael held his arms out and bowed. Dean glared at him. "Oh and Dean, send me an invite to the baby shower." He winked and disappeared. 

The room fell disgustingly silent. Cas' knees buckled and he clumsily sat down, his head in his hands. 

"You're a fucking dick, you know that?" Dean said to Gabriel. He didn't have it in him to scream and shout. His energy had been drained. 

"Don't trust me with secrets, cuz I won't keep 'em." He leant over the table. 

"You knew?" Sam snapped at him. Gabriel shrugged. 

"Only for like a week!" He snapped in parallel.

"I don't believe this." Sam said as he marched upstairs, grabbing Gabriel by the back of his shirt and taking him with him. Jack stood awkwardly and looked down at the floor. 

"I should go..." he gestured p, looking at Dean. He smiled sadly and nodded as he left. He pulled up a seat beside Cas and fidgeted with his hands on his lap. 

"Please say something." He begged. Cas shunned away from him, staying silent. Dean pondered and waited for him to speak. 

"When." He curt. Dean looked up from his hands and looked at the back of him. 

"What do you mean? When I found out or supposedly when it happened?" He asked. 

"Both." He said. Dean sighed. 

"I found out just over a week ago. But I guess I'm 6 weeks or something." He mumbled. The topic was still really vile to him. 

"Why didn't you tell me you could get pregnant?" He said sadly. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist and glanced at his shoes. 

"Because I thought it went away." He said honestly. "Sam wasn't the only one cursed. My dad broke some deal with a demon when I was young and it ended up in me getting cursed. Obviously he died so I thought the curse did with it. Apparently not. I'm so sorry Cas." He said as he began to cry. 

As upset as Cas was with him, he couldn't just sit and watch the love of his life blubber and pour his heart out. He wasn't happy, far from it. But he knew he had to step up. Dean needed comfort and reassurance, and you bet your ass that Castiel was not going to let him suffer. Cas turned around and held Dean close in his arms. Dean wrapped his arms around him tightly. 

"I’ll never stop loving you, I’ve told you that. This isn’t going to change that. Sure it wasn’t planned and sure it would’ve helped if you’d told me before,” he chuckled, earning a soft chuckle from Dean in response. “but we will make this work. Plus, I kind of already have this parenting crap down.” He said, with a smug smile. Dean pulled away and raised his eyebrows at him. They laughed fondly. 

“It’s just a shame I won’t be there to see them.” He wiped his nose with the cuff of his sleeve. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” Cas asked, genuinely perplexed. Dean looked at him with sad eyes. 

“Nephilims kill their carrier Cas. You know what happened to Kelly. I’m going to die.” He said and shrugged. Castiel sat back in his chair. To be fair, archangel nephilims are far stronger and would undoubtedly kill their carriers, but he wasn’t an archangel. He’d never experienced this before, nobody had, not with normal angels. So they had nowhere to turn. 

“You don’t know that, Dean.” He shook his head. 

“Don’t I?” He laughed. Cas rolled his eyes, he could do without Deans pessimism makes no its way into things. 

“No you don’t. We’ve never dealt with a normal angel nephilim before. There’s a big chance you’ll live.” He took one of his hands and squeezed it, hopefully to give him some hope. Dean smiled faintly. 

“Don’t do that.” Cas said. 

“Do what?” He looked at him. Castiel abruptly stood and walked behind Deans chair. 

“That.” 

“I’m not doing anything!” He giggled. 

“Exactly!” Cas exaggerated. 

“What should I be doing?” He questioned. Cas gently pulled his cheek n back with his thumbs and kissed him lovingly. He would never tire of that feeling. How soft his skin was, how charming he felt, and best of all-

They pulled away and gazed into each other’s eyes, admiring each other affectionately. 

-and there it was. 

Dean giggled and smiled at him, completely love struck. Every time he kissed him it felt like the first. Pure magic. 

Cas couldn’t help but kiss him again. 

Afraid that his kisses were numbered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to make my endings kinda good but they never are yikes. But please let me know what you’re thinking so far!


	6. mac and ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there’s any mistakes, I feel like there’s a few. But enjoy nonetheless! 💓

Sam wandered back and forth in his room as he ranted. Gabriel sat on his bed and listened. He knew he'd done the right thing by having his brother drop by and announce the news, because it was wrong for Dean to hide such a life changing thing from everyone. This might've shook him up a little bit, jiggle things back into place. 

"All those years he's hidden that from me!" Sam ran his hands through his hair and inhaled. Gabriel watched him and awaited another rant.

"It would've made it so much easier if he just told me. That's all he had to do!" He stressed. Gabe pulled out a book and began to flip through the pages as Sam continued. 

"This was dads fault." He pointed. "What is it with our parents and dealing with monsters!!" 

"Maybe this could've been prevented if he'd just said it. We don't need this right now!" His voice broke. He looked up at him from the edge of his book and sighed, rolling his eyes as he snapped it shut. 

"Sam, sugar, stop for just a hot minute." He said. He turned to look at him and sat beside him in the bed. He lied down flat and stared at the ceiling. Gabriel did the same. 

"I just don't know what's gonna happen. I'm scared, Gabe." He admitted. Gabriel internally grimaced. He had never been good at comforting people. He was pretty confident he loved Sam, but his gentle, soft nature was still buried deep, deep down. 

"Well for one, we're gonna be uncles. So uhhh...there's that." He tried. Sam chuckled at the thought. 

"To what though, a baby or someone that looks like they could both own and drive a car?" He smiled. Gabriel laughed at him fondly. 

"To be continued." He replied, making himself and Sam laugh. Their laughs faded off and the room fell silent, however an enormous amount of questions filled the air. 

"Dean's gonna be okay, right?" Sam asked. Gabriel just exhaled as he truly did not know what was going to happen to him. But he couldn't let Sam feel even more on edge. So he lied. Again. 

"He will be fine. I'm sure of it." He said through a gritted teeth smile. Sam smiled and continued staring at the ceiling. To delay the amount of questions that remained unanswered and hovering, Gabriel rolled over on top of Sam and kissed his cheek repeatedly. Sam tilted his jaw and moved his lips to meet his own. Gabriel began unbuttoning Sams shirt when he suddenly stopped him and lightly pushed him off. 

"Wait." He said. Gabriel squinted at him. 

"What?" He asked. 

"You can't get knocked up, can you?" He said seriously. Gabriel rolled his eyes and laughed. 

"No. Now shut up and let me kiss you." 

****  
ONE WEEK LATER

Cas was taking this news surprisingly well. Suspiciously well. He'd been out numerous times in the week that he'd known to grocery stores and over priced herbal shops. He sped past Dean and took the microwaveable macaroni and cheese pot from his hands. He looked over at him, slightly heartbroken.

"Ahh." He vocalised sadly, his mouth still open as he waited for the taste of fake cheese and plastic pasta. 

"You're really eating those, again?" Cas tilted his head and threw the pot in the trash. Dean held his hands out as he watched the disgusting yet delightful yellow substance fall into the bin. 

"They're good." He said and dropped his hands. 

"Not for you." Cas chortled. Dean pouted like a toddler and leant on the table, his cheeks puffed against his arms. 

"What's in the bags?" Dean asked, his speech muffled by his shirt sleeves. 

"The things you should be eating. Sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, broccoli..." Cas lectured. Dean grimaced and stuck his tongue out at the thought of eating tiny trees that tasted of farts and misery. 

He groaned and sprawled out on the chair. 

"Hey, you were the one that said you wanted nothing to do with doctors. No appointments, no ultrasounds, no hospitals - nothing. This is what we have to do to make sure you're as healthy as possible. Both of you." Castiel smiled fondly. Dean couldn't help but pull an uncomfortable face. He loved that his boyfriend was being extra lovely and caring, but no amount of kind acts and sweet lectures was going to make him actually want the baby. 

"And also, we don't actually know when the baby will arrive. Regular angel nephilims have never occurred before us so we must make sure you're as healthy as you can be." Cas said. He sat and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. There was a button or two at the bottom that no longer met, which made Dean slightly uneasy. Instead of allowing himself to sink into the pool of worry and discomfort in his mind, he got up to help Cas unpack what he'd bought. 

Dean went to pick up a bag before Castiel stopped him by putting a hand on his. 

"You shouldn't." He said. 

Dean rolled his eyes and picked up the bag filled with fruit. 

"I'm pregnant, Cas, I'm not dyi-" He hesitated, rather subpar himself for being so blunt. Cas looked up at him with those- those eyes. Like a stray puppy that got caught in the rain and sat on your doorstep. For once it broke Deans heart to think of himself dying and then leaving him with such a responsibility. 

"Shut up." Dean said, mostly to himself as he went to the kitchen. The angel followed with the rest of the shopping and sat the bags on the table. 

"Ew, sweet potatoes? Really?" Dean glared at them intensely. Cas walked past him and began stacking things in the cupboard. 

"Yes." He chuckled at him. "They're supposed to be good for you. I read somewhere that they're one of the bed things to eat during pregnancy, so naturally..." 

Dean beamed at the fact that he'd done research, making his heart flutter. 

"You've done research?" He said sweetly. 

"Well, yeah. I've got to know something. I want to do what's best for you, you know that." He said and kissed Dean on the cheek, making his heart melt. Dean pushed himself up and sat on the kitchen counter and dangled his feet. 

"Careful, rockstar." Cas laughed and handed him a can to put away. The room fell silent and Dean began to ponder the thought of what would happen if he were to live and actually be a parent. 

"I never thought of myself being a dad y'know..." he induced. Cas shrugged and nodded. 

"Me neither really. I mean, I never actively wanted to be a parent, but sometimes you just have to be, in many different ways." 

Dean unintentionally went back to fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. 

"You mean Jack?" He said. Cas nodded and smiled. Dean smiled back. At some points he did think of Jack as a son, but he was too scared to fully commit like Cas did as he didn't want to get in the way.

"You're good to him. You're what he needed." He smiled, but his smile fade and he watched his feet. "Considering how awful I was." He mumbled, but Cas managed to catch it. 

"Dean, you know Jack looks up to you. Sure you've both had your moments but neither of you were in a very positive mind set." He shrugged as he folded up the bags and piled them up. 

"I just don't want to be like my dad." Dean shook his head sorrowfully. Cas put the bags in a cupboard and sighed. 

"You and me both." He laughed sadly. A corner of Deans mouth tugged into his cheek in empathy. 

"But..." Cas cruised over to Dean and put his hands around his waist. "This is our chance to change that." 

For once, Dean felt comfortable with the idea of him and Cas becoming parents as this was a chance for him to prove himself. Not only did Castiel have the power to heal the sick or injured, or teleport and get in and out of heaven at any point he wanted; he could make Dean Winchester feel okay with a few simple words and the touch of his hands. 

He grinned charmingly and put his hands on top of Cas'. He leant in and kissed him lovingly, occasionally pulling away just to look in his eyes. Castiels hands moved slowly to the middle of his stomach. Deans heart fluttered. He didn't let go or flinch, because he was in love. 

He was in love with them both.


	7. in the morning, i’ll make cereal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so so long, like a week on and off. It’s not the best but I promise things will pick up its pace soon!

Dean sat and watched Castiel read intensely at the desk from his bed. He'd been searching and rapidly flipping through ginormous books all day, which was tiring for Dean just to look at. He yawned and leant against the back of his bed, nearly dozing off just then. 

"Cas..." he groaned. He ignored him. Dean watched his eyes scan the pages. He sighed and flipped through the pages again until he was back at the beginning. 

"Cas?..." he tried again, slightly more cautious this time. He rubbed his brow and squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Yes? Sorry." He shook himself off. Dean edged closer to the end of the bed. 

"Talk to me." He said softly. Cas looked at him and took his hand for comfort. He gave him a weak smile and ran his thumb across Deans knuckles. 

"Nothing. There's nothing." He shook his head. 

"What do you mean?" Dean said. 

"About angel nephilims in these books and scriptures. Nothing." He emphasise through gritted teeth. He let go of Deans hand and spun his chair around, away from him. 

"Why look for something you know you're not going to find Cas? You'll make the situation worse." Dean said sadly, realising that his sweet, love struck and optimistic mood earlier was perhaps just a mask to disguise how he truly felt. 

"There just has to be some answers." Cas said to himself. Dean felt his eyes well up. 

"To what questions? You know what's happened and you know what's going on. This road is one you've walked down before." Dean furrowed his brows and shook his head. If he was being completely honest with himself, he wished to give birth there and then just to stop all the questions from flooding in. In mind was already foggy, he didn't need added sleet or hail. 

"I wasn't as attached to Kelly as I am to you. Yes, I did love her, but not in the way I love you. No amount of words and affection could describe how much I love you." Castiel stood and turned away from him. 

Dean stayed silent. He wasn't afraid of him in the slightest, but he was afraid of what he might say. He wasn't feeling much love for this kid at all, but he was still very sensitive about the topic. He did however feel reassured that Cas' love for him hadn't been altered, he just felt like he'd created an inconvenience in his life that he didn't need. Nobody needed. 

"I'm sorry Dean. I'm just... so scared of losing you. We've lost each other before I know but something about this feels-"

"Permanent." He looked up at him. Cas nodded and pulled at the strings of his hoodie in exhausted frustration. 

"Stop that." Dean said and he watched him. Castiel looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"You know it drives me crazy when you do that." He sat up on his knees and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Cas chuckled and wrapped his arms around Deans waist. They fit together so perfectly, they both felt physically complete when in each other's embrace. Like a puzzle piece that you've been looking for what feels like forever and connecting it with the rest of the story. They just so happened to have a new piece added to their puzzle, that they weren't sure if it fit. 

Dean leant on his chest, feeling his eyelids get heavy and his body start to soften. Cas felt his body get heavier on his.

"You, rockstar, need some rest." He said and gently pushed Dean in front of him. His eyes rolled around sleepily as he grumbled. 

"Only if you lie with me." He pouted. Cas sighed and nodded. Both of them were well aware by now that Castiel did not sleep, he couldn't sleep. Despite this, he knew that being beside Dean whilst he slept was a major comfort for him and something he's always wanted, especially now. He lay beside him and watched as his eyelids got heavy, upset tingly hiding his stunning green eyes. Cas cupped his cheek and benevolently stroked his thumb across his cheek until he sensed his breathing change and occasional snores, displaying that he was asleep.

He watched him for a while, his chest ride and fall, his nose twitch now and then. He loved it. He loved him. But for some reason, he couldn't just sit and watch him, protect him, he had to get up and clear his mind or at least try to. Gingerly, he pulled the duvet off him and tucked it closer to Dean, making sure he was still warm. Cas quietly made his way out and downstairs. He tip-toed down the metal stairs and wandered to the kitchen. He was perplexed as he saw Jack, chowing down on a bowl of miniature cookies. Smiling lovingly, he switched the bigger light on and laughed at him. 

Jack looked at him in shock, his mouth agape and milk dribbling down his chin. 

"You didn't see anything." He said. Castiel hummed a laugh and held his hands up. 

"Nothing at all." He said, sitting across from him. Jack quietly stirred the cereal in his bowl, he had so many questions for him, but they got caught in the back of his mouth. Cas did too. 

"How are you feeling?" They asked in unison. Warmly, they both chuckled. 

"You first." Jack said politely. Cas sighed and shook his head regretfully. He honestly didn't know where to start. 

"Well..." He began with an exhale. "I- I'm excited?" He said, sounding as though he was desperately trying to convince himself. 

"You can be honest with me, Cas. I can tell you're lying." Jack shrugged and put his spoon down. Cas scratches the back of his head and stalled, as he really didn't know how he felt. He knew he was scared, he was petrified. 

"You're scared." He said softly, trying to make eye contact with him. Castiel nodded and leant on his hands. 

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Jack. I can't lose him. Not like this." He stressed. Jack looked down at his hands and sighed sadly. 

"We don't know anything. Anything. I don't know who will live or die; when it'll get here; how Dean will be..." he rambled. Jack frowned to himself for not knowing how to make him feel better. This wasn't something he could fix with sugary cereal shaped like cookies for mice. But he could try. 

He got up and took a bowl from the cupboard and sat it on the table, pouring the cereal into it and adding milk. He plonked a spoon in the side of it and pushed it towards Castiel. He smiled at him tenderly and picked up his spoon. 

"Thanks buddy." He said. Jack nodded in response. 

"So, do you think she'll be like me?" He said. Cas looked up and him and wiped his mouth. 

"Oh, you think it's a girl?" He chewed. Jack smiled smugly. 

"I'm not sure, but I hope so." He grinned. Castiel grinned too. This was the first time he'd realised that this would actually be their son or daughter, their child. A mini version of them both that they would raise, teach, aid through their troubles... love.

"Well, we'll have to wait and see." He smiled weakly. He wanted to be happy, truly, but this wasn't your normal family situation, your run of the mill 'bundle of joy'. This was a potential man slaughterer. Try finding a baby book for that. 

Jack could sense how tense Cas was feeling, it upset him. He didn't like seeing him in such a state of confusion and anxiety, especially knowing how good of a father he'd be. 

"Exactly. Plus, you've done this before. I mean I turned out okay." Jack said. He knew what he was saying was highly exaggerated. With this family, okay just means alive. 

Cas just hoped that Dean would be okay.


	8. ours

Dean slowly woke up and turned over, stunned at an unusual cold breeze flowing over him, giving him goosebumps. He squinted his eyes open and turned round to see that Castiels side of the bed was empty. He yawned and stretched, blinking rapidly as his eyes were getting used to the light. His feet pressed to the cold floor and he tried to stand, but was immediately forced to sit back down by a powerful ache that wrapped itself around his middle. Dean cursed to himself and called out, hoping that Cas would swing open the door. 

"Cas?" He tried, but his voice was croaky and weak. He caught his breath and tried again. 

"Cas!" He yelled. He heard footsteps get louder and sighed with relief. However, it wasn't Castiel who came running to Deans aid, it was Sam. 

"Dean?" He said from behind the door. "Are you decent?" 

Dean grumbled to himself. He didn't know why Sam asking a genuine and unproblematic question made him feel so angry. 

"Yes! Just- Please help me!" He yelped. Sam ran in and knelt in front of Dean. 

"It's not coming, is it?!" He panicked. Dean shook his head and grunted. 

"No- No it's too early. But I'm just- I'm in so much pain." He breathed. Sam has no clue what to do. Neither of them had ever been in a situation like this, it was so new to them both. It was terrifying, because hardly anything is new for the Winchesters. 

"Uhh... Should- Should I call 911?" Sam stuttered with trepidation. Dean shook his head immediately and tried to stand. He fumbled to his dresser and clung onto it, causing his knuckles to go sheer white. 

"Dean, what do I do?! I can't just let you be in pain! I gotta do something!" He stressed. Dean winced and looked up at him. Veins began to protrude from his hands and across his forehead, complimented with sweat and deep redness.

Then Sam saw something he'd never seen Dean do, ever. Dean cried, and not just a whimper, Dean was sobbing, heaving crying even. He had no choice. He'd never seen him cry so much because of pain even after all he'd been through. He had no choice but to take him to the hospital. 

"Can you walk?" He asked. Dean thought and nodded, his lips firmly pressed together as he panted. He turned around and Sam held him up. 

"Where are we going?" He whimpered. Sam had to tell him the truth. 

"I'm taking you to the hospital." He said, somewhat quietly in waiting for Deans response. He froze and curled up into himself. 

"No- No Sam... you can't." He stammered. Sam looked at him and sighed. He was well aware that Dean isn't want anything to do with hospitals, doctors or anything professionally medical. But he needed this. 

Sam called out to Gabriel for help, but similar to Cas, there was no answer. 

"Fuck sake, where is he?" He cursed under his breath. Dean cried out in agony again. 

"You can't take me to the hospital Sammy." He said with gritted teeth. 

"I can and will. You need some professional medical help Dean because I don't know what to do. I can't just leave you in agony!" Sam said firmly. For once, Dean obliged. He was in too much pain to care. 

Sam helped Dean into the car and sped to the hospital. Dean was curled up in Cas' hoodie in the passenger seat, shaking and crying. Sam couldn't stand it. This hurt him in a way that was indescribable. He despised not being able to help Dean. It was torture. 

"Where is Cas? I need him!" Dean cried out. 

"I don't know, he went out last night to clear his mind but-" He was cut off by Dean letting out a contagiously paining howl. 

"Okay, okay, this is it." He soothed as he pulled into the hospitals emergency parking. "You wait here, I'll go get somebody." 

****  
Cas pondered as he paced around the park. He was running out of options, rapidly. All he wanted was some answers, or at least some clues of what was going to happen to Dean and their child. He couldn't stand the unknown. 

"Castiel." A voice called out from a few feet away from him. He straightened up at the sound of her voice. 

"Naomi..." He said in disbelief. He turned to look at her, just to make sure she was real. He grimaced and his angel blade fell into his palm. 

"Ah ah, no need. I'm here to help." She held her hand up in innocence. Cas narrowed his eyes at her and removed his blade from sight. 

"W-Why would I need help?" Castiel said foolishly. He rolled his eyes at himself for being so agitated. 

"Oh, please Castiel, don't be so shy." She approached him with a slightly patronising walk. "You knocked up Dean Winchester." She smiled. 

Cas' breathing hitched at her bluntness. He blinked and looked at his feet. She put a hand on his shoulder in sympathy, of which he couldn't tell was genuine or not. 

"What do I do?" He said as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hugging himself tightly. 

Naomi sighed. "We're unsure of how the nephilim will be or what powers it'll have. But I'm sure of this, you have to make a decision, Castiel."

"On who lives or dies?" Cas asked, a pained break in his voice. "How do you expect me to do that?!" He yelled. Naomi pondered the thought. 

"I don't, not now anyway. That's why I'm giving you a week. You must have made up your mind by then." She informed. She had this antagonistic twang in her voice, which set off a pit of rage in Castiels stomach. 

"And if I don't?" He spat. She folded her mouth into a line and frowned at him. 

"Then I will take them both. To the empty." She said firmly. Castiel felt his knees tremble and his joints go limp. 

"Ah ah, not now fella. He needs you." Naomi caught him by his sides. She snapped her fingers and he was suddenly terrorised by the sounds of Dean crying out in lament and agony. It was blood curdling. 

"What's happening to him!!" He pleaded, his heart thumping. 

"Not sure. You should go find out." 

Before Cas could say another word, he was stood in front of the ER of Sioux Falls General. He spotted the Impala parked not far from him and bolted inside to the reception desk. 

"How can I help you sir?" A receptionist asked calmly. 

"I'm looking for Dean Winchester. Did he check in?" He breathed. She typed on her keyboard and clicked a few times. 

"Yes. He arrived with severe abdominal pains. Are you aware that he's pregnant?" She questioned. That sentence felt so bizarre to him, but he had no time to contemplate. 

"Y-Yes. Yes I am." He answered. She typed in her keyboard again and there was a few seconds of silence, of which felt like eons to him. Chuck knows what was happening to Dean. Chuck knows what was happening to their child. 

"Ward 7. The Day assessment unit." She informed. Cas nodded and thanked her, the proceeded to speedily jog to find Dean. 

He felt like he was in a maze, being played like a puzzle piece. He felt so guilty. So guilty that he'd done this to him. He loved him so much, and usually wanting children with someone means you're head over heels for them, but in this case it seemed like the exact opposite. 

****   
Dean could not stand being in hospitals. He was fine for goodness sake, just a little pain is all. He especially hated it when everyone was fussing around his stomach, constantly wanting to check him in the every uncomfortable way possible. 

"Dean, please, I have to check that the baby isn't stressed and that you aren't internally bleeding. You have to let me or else I can't help you." His doctor, Dr. Brown informed. He hesitated, but eventually gingerly detached his arms from being tightly clung to his middle 

"Good. Thank you. This will be cold, but don't freak out." She said. Dean grimaced. He'd seen this on Greys Anatomy hundreds of times, but never thought it would actually be happening to him for real. 

"You said you haven't had any ultrasounds yet?" She said. He nodded as he looked away from the screen. She nodded and pursed her lips. "I'm guessing you're not that interested, right?" She tilted her head. Dean didn't answer, because he simply did not know. 

"Well, maybe this will change your mind." She said and pressed a button on her machine. It released a loud, repetitive pitter-patter like sound into the room. Deans chest went tight and a lump grew in his throat. 

That wasn't his heartbeat. 

He couldn't help it anymore. He had to look at what had been causing him so much distress for these past few months. He had to look at what could cause endless chaos between worlds in the future. He had to look at what he and Cas had created. 

He had to look at their child. 

Dean reluctantly turned his head to look at the screen. This gave him a feeling he'd never felt before. He thought that being him, living this life with this family that he'd felt every emotion under the sun. Hurt, anger, sadness, love... But this he couldn't describe. It was like a firework had been lit in his gut. He couldn't help but cry at the sight on the screen. 

Dr. Brown smiled at him, realising she was right. 

"By the looks of it I'd say you're about 5 months gone." She said and she wiped the gel away. Deans eyes widened as he fidgeted with his hands. In reality he was only just 3. 

"I can print some photos of the baby if you'd like?" She said. Deans eyes lit up and he beamed. 

"How many?" She asked. He wanted to say a hundred, a thousand maybe. But in the end he settled for four. 

"You got it. I'll be back in a sec." 

****  
"Excuse me." Cas caught a nurse by her shoulder. "Have you-" He felt relief wash over him as he saw Sam approach him. 

"Never mind. Thank you." He said to the nurse. She nodded in response and went in her way. 

"Cas! Where've you been?" Sam asked, a slight tone of disappointment in his voice. 

"I- I got caught up last night." He said. He couldn't tell him about Naomi, not yet. 

"Where's Dean, what's going on with him?" He asked for what seemed like the millionth time in the space of three months. 

"Were not a hindered percent sure yet, they're running some tests on him just now." He shrugged sadly. Cas sighed and sat down in the waiting area with Sam. 

A few moments later, Deans doctor stepped out from his room and approached them with her clipboard. Sam and Cas both stood in unison.

"He'll be alright." She started. Their shoulders finally relaxed and they both exhaled with relief. 

"The pains were due to Deans body not really being prepared for any fetal growth. So it was like a shock to his body. His stress levels didn't help with the pain of course, so you can go and see him, but I wouldn't discuss anything to dramatic." She said sweetly to lighten the mood. Cas laughed weakly and headed to Deans room.   
"Cas..." He exhaled and smiled. "Where were you?" 

"I just went on a walk, got distracted by the sunrise. I didn't even realise the time." He smiled, genuinely this time. Seeing Dean make him smile until he was blue in the face. 

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked. 

"Great. Beyond great. Fan-fuckin-tastic." He grinned. Cas took his hand in his and kissed Deans knuckles. Dr. Brown walked into the room with four photos and handed them to Dean. 

"You're good to go." She smiled. Dean smiled back and gazed at the photos in his hands. She shut the door behind her. 

"What's that?" Cas asked, peeking at the photos in Deans grasp. 

"That's ours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can I get an uwu in here rn  
> I’m really happy with this chapter, I’m proud tbh. It took a lot of going back and forth and stuff but I like how it turned out. Since actual supernatural is ripping our hearts out and using them as footballs, I thought I’d write some well deserved and needed fluff.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!   
> Please comment what you think, it really motivates me to continue writing!   
> Bye! X


	9. flutters

Castiel helped Dean out of the car and they headed back into the bunker. Cas was ecstatic to show Jack the photo of the baby. They were still unaware of the sex, which they were intending to keep it a secret until it was born. It was incredibly rare for them to have any sweet surprises in their lives, so this was something for them to hold onto, their drop of gold. 

"Easy, easy." Cas said as he took Deans hand. He smiled at him adoringly and shrugged. 

"I'm okay." He assured. Cas nodded. Sam opened the door and called out to announce that they were home. Jack ran to them and looked up from below the stairs. 

"Dean! Are you alright? Sam texted me and-" He said frantically. 

Dean chuckled in awe at his benevolence. "I'm okay bud. We're both okay." He looked at Cas and tugged his hand, earning a fond smile in response. 

"Hey, Jack." Cas followed him and took the photo for him from his pocket. "Look what I have for you..." 

Dean beamed at the sound of Jacks admiration and excitement as he wandered down the hall with Cas. He went to the kitchen and began making himself something to eat. He pulled the photo from his pocket and gazed at it lovingly. He was so surprised that he actually, legitimately felt endless amounts of love for someone he hadn't even met yet, someone that didn't even exist yet. 

"Cute." A voice startled him from behind, making him jump. He turned around to see Gabriel with a lollipop tucked into his cheek. 

"Jeez. Don't do that." Dean said as he clutched his stomach. 

"Woah, relax mama, don't want your waters breakin'." He teased. Dean wasn't laughing. 

"What do you want?" He said brusquely. Gabriel wandered aimlessly, glancing at his lollipop. 

"I want to know where my picture is?" He raised his eyebrows and held out his arms. Dean glared at him. 

"Go to hell." He said and continued making his sandwich. 

"Alright alright." He said. "No need to be sassy." 

"Really?" Dean stared at him. "You brought Michael into this damn house, to announce that I'm pregnant to the entire household! So excuse me if I'm a little blunt." 

"Please. Without me, you would've kept that thing hidden until you went into labour. What who you've done then, hm?" 

Dean grit his teeth at Gabriel calling his child a 'thing'. But didn't have the energy to fight.  
"Just tell me what you want." He sighed. 

"I just wanna know when the little spot will be here." He shrugged. Dean narrowed his eyes at the peculiarity of Gabriel, of all people, asking that specific question. 

"Why do you care?" He asked, looking at him gone out. 

"I just...need to be ready to say goodbye to the sweet peace and quiet." He shrugged. 

"Why should you care? We've never had peace or quiet. Plus it's not like you sleep." Dean said curtly. Gabriel thought for a moment and smiled. 

"Just do." He jolted. "Enjoy your sandwich." He said and wandered off. Dean raised his eyebrows in suspicion, but went back to his sandwich. 

***  
Dean wandered on the balcony and gazed down at Sam in confusion. He was with Jack and Gabriel, all dressed in very smart clothing. 

"Where you headed?" He asked. 

"Oh, there's a case just a few miles away. We're not sure if it's anything supernatural or not but, worth a shot." Sam shrugged. Dean nodded and turned as they went to leave, but snapped back. 

"You be careful with my Baby." He called out. Sam turned and chuckled at him. 

"Which one?" He said. Dean furrowed his brows at him. 

"Bitch." He yelled with a smile. Sam shut the door and locked it. Dean was confused at the lack of response from his brother. 

"Jerk." He said from behind the door. Dean laughed and went back to his room. 

He lay on his bed, a DC comic book in his hands and his toes tapping to an imaginary beat on the headboard if the bed. He hummed sweetly and flipped through the pages. Abruptly, he felt bizarre flutter coming from the lower half of his abdomen. At first he just wriggled it off and continued reading his comic, assuming it was nothing. It wasn't until it happened again that he sat up and waited to feel it again, just to make sure he wasn't going crazy. 

"What the hell is-" he whispered to himself. Delicately, he put his hand where he was continuously feeling these peculiar, butterfly-like tickles. Although the stir that Dean felt against his hand was small, like the flip of a coin, he felt it, and he knew he felt it. His eyes welled up at the thought, that wasn't much of a thought anymore. A knock at the door shook him from his trance. He wiped his eyes and nose then went back to his comic, a beam still present on his face. 

"Dean? Can I come in?" Cas asked from the other side of the door. 

"Yeah." He answered. Cas opened the door slowly and lowered his brows at him. 

"You've been crying. What's going on?" He pulled up the desk chair and sat in front of the edge of the bed. 

"Nothing, uhhh, sad part of the comic." He waved it around to make it seem legitimate. "Also, hormones, y'know." He shrugged. Cas nodded in understanding. 

"You busy?" He asked. Dean looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"Not really, why?" He shook his head. 

"Good. Let's go." He patted his leg and took his hands to help him up. Dean chuckled. 

"Go? Go where?" He said, but followed Cas anyway. 

"Nowhere in specific. Just... somewhere..." he said, suspiciously but with a grin. 

"Baby, you're scaring me." Dean let go of Castiels hand and stood with his arms folded. Cas paused for a moment and took Deans hands. 

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to scare you. I just want to take you somewhere. That's all." He said softly. 

"Cas, we don't even have a car. Sam took it earlier." He said. Cas took some keys from his pocket and jingled them around his index finger. 

"Not a problem. Please, just trust me okay?" Cas said sincerely. Dean let go of one of Cas' hands and let him take him to the garage. 

Cas put his hands over Deans eyes and walked him to his surprise. 

"Castiel you could not get any creepier." Dean said. 

"You ready?" He said. Dean chuckled and Cas took his hands away to reveal a red, 1970s Chevelle LS6 convertible. Deans mouth fell agape. 

"Cas... How did you-" Dean said breathlessly. Cas wrapped his arms lovingly around Deans middle. 

"Do you like it?" He asked, resting his chin in his shoulder. 

"I love it. But why?" He asked. Cas tilted his head. 

"Because I love you, Dean Winchester. You're my everything." He kissed his cheek. Dean blushed and swayed, drunk with hopeless adoration. 

"Hop in." Cas said. Dean didn't hesitate. Cas turned on the engine and it roared ravenously. 

"Man, listen to that!" Cas exclaimed in excitement. Dean grinned and admired all the detailing of the car. 

"Wow. I mean, she's no Baby, but..." He chortled. 

"You want a bet Mr. Winchester?" Cas raised his eyebrows at him. Dean shrugged smugly. He revved the engine and they shot off down the road. 

****  
They had been driving for two hours, and Cas still hadn't told Dean where they were going, or why. However Dean was wanting to know less and less. He cherished moments like these, they were very rare. He loved Cas' sense of adventure and passion, he never wanted that to change. Dean wasn't usually very fond of the unknown, but this type he craved. 

Cas drove along a cliff side, a stunning beach to their right. The setting sun reflected into the waves as they rose and crashed to the sand below them. The water sparkled like Christmas. Dean sang along to Don't Stop Believin' by Journey as Cas ran his hands through his hair. It was like a scene from a seventies movie. Oh how Dean wished he would be locked in this moment forever. 

The song ended and they laughed together. Their laughs were so harmonious and silky, like honey. Cas pulled into a small car park with a food and drinks trailer a few feet away. Dean got out of the car with Cas, but he told him to wait. 

"Ah ah, you stay here. It's chilly." Cas said. Dean smiled and rolled his eyes. He jumped back in the car and waited for him to come back with chuck knows what. He felt another jolt come from his stomach and pressed his hand against it. 

"Shh, not now. Wait til he gets back." He said gently. Cas sat in the back of the car and handed Dean a cup of hot chocolate and a bag with something delicious smelling inside. 

"Best in donuts in town apparently." He said. Dean opened the bag and was engulfed in the scent of warm, sugary donut. 

"Damn, that's a pretty big statement Cas. I mean I've had plenty of donuts in my time and-" He took a bite and immediately felt his world flip. "Holy shit." 

Cas laughed and shrugged. 

"Told ya." He said. They both sat and enjoyed each other company, gazing up at the stars that were becoming more present as the sunset melted into night. 

"Pretty." Cas said as his eyes glimmered like the stars. Dean hugged his cup of hot chocolate in his hands. 

"I know. It's weird that there's so many stars." He said. 

"I meant you." Cas said. Dean chuckled and grimaced. 

"Ew. Cheesy." He pouted. Cas stuck his tongue out at him. Dean did it back. They laughed and Dean took a sip of his drink, shivering. 

"You're cold?" Cas asked. Dean hesitated to say, Cas had already done so much, he didn't want to ruin it by being cold. 

"A little." He mumbled. Cas got out of the back of the car and opened the trunk, pulling out Deans favourite blanket. Dean put his cup down and looked over at him. 

"This isn't real." He said. Cas narrowed his eyes at him.

"What?" He said. 

"There's no way something could be this perfect. Things as nice as this don't happen to us." He shook his head. Cas put the blanket over him, making sure he was cozy.

"I can assure you it's real." He said. 

"How?" Dean folded his arms. Cas thought, then leant over and kissed him passionately. He pulled away and stroked his freckled cheek with his thumb. 

"Proven enough now?" He asked. Dean pondered. 

"Not quite yet." He said and kissed his again, his tie in Deans grip. Dean hummed and pulled away, hissing as his hand flew to his stomach. 

"What's the matter?" Castiel sat back and his eyes darted around. 

"It's nothing, really it's..." Dean sat up. The corners of his mouth turned up into a fond smile. 

"Dean?" Cas questioned. Dean held out his other hand. 

"Give me your hand." He said, gesturing for Cas' to meet his. 

"What?" He said. 

"I've trusted you. Now it's my turn." Dean said. Cas gingerly let Dean take his hand. He took away his other hand and replaced it with his, putting a slight amount of pressure atop Castiels. Dean bit his bottom lip as he waited. 

"Dean, I don't feel anyth-" Cas' eyes widened. Dean scrunched his nose at the feeling and giggled. 

"That was-!!" He uttered. Dean nodded. 

"Holy shit..." He breathed. "When did this start happening?"

"This afternoon." Dean beamed. "I wasn't crying because of my comic book." He shook his head. Dean moved Cas' hand slightly to try and find some more movement. Dean looked up and watched him. His eyes lit up in ways he'd never seen before. Cas let a few tears slip from his eyes. 

"Hey... Hey, none of that. You'll set me off." Dean soothed as he wiped his tears away with his thumb. 

"Sorry." He chuckled. "I just never thought I'd be able to love someone as much as I love you." 

As much as Castiel adored and cherished this moment, he was still very aware that he had to make a choice. His heart was blooming, but shattering at the same time. Because he'd already made up his mind. 

He just wanted to spend as much time with Dean as he could. 

Because he didn't have long left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friCKSKSS SORRY  
> Happy New Year! Really hope this year is good for y'all. Heck, I really need a good year, this year was the worst I've ever had.  
> I really like this chapter and this book is bringing me a lot of joy, I hope it is for you too (if I didn't break your heart oops)  
> I got a little emotional writing this not gonna lie oops.  
> Sorry if there's any mistakes, I'm really reALLY tired.  
> Please comment what you think, it really boosts my motivation! Maybe what you'd like to see? Who knows. 
> 
> Bye! X


	10. stanford sweater

Castiel watched Dean softly stir in his sleep until he woke up. It was lovely watching him wake up, because then he could see his pretty green eyes again. Dean rubbed his eyes and laid his arm over his forehead.

"Good morning, rockstar." Cas said as he closed his book and sat it down. 

"Mornin'." He replied. His voice was sleepy and deep. It was enough to intoxicate Cas. 

Dean shuffled in his spot and tried to sit up, but hissed and cursed under his breath. 

"Woah, easy. Take it slow." Cas said as he took his hand. Dean exhaled and pushed himself upwards. 

"You okay?" He asked. Dean hesitantly nodded, giving himself a moment to check. 

"Yeah. I'm just... I feel like I've swallowed a bowling ball." He winced. 

"Looks like it too." Cas joked. Dean playfully slapped his arm and they laughed. 

"So are you gonna tell me what we're doing here? He asked, scanning his surroundings. Cas thought for a moment, but he knew Dean couldn't handle not knowing for much longer. 

"Alright, fine." He caved. "There's this sweet little independent shop just down the road that I thought we could get some supplies and furniture from." 

Dean smiled fondly and blushed. 

"You're adorable." He leant on his arm on the front seat. Cas scrunched his nose and kissed Deans forehead. 

"I love you." He mumbled. Dean grinned. 

"I love you too." He replied. "We should get going though. It's a long drive back and I'd rather not be up until 4am building stuff." 

Dean sat in the passenger seat and Cas drove to their destination, it was only a few minutes away. Dean was excited, but becoming increasingly anxious. This was the first time he'd ever been in public looking the way he did, other than being in the hospital of course. He would've felt comfortable if this was normal, but it was far from it. As much as Dean adored their child, that didn't make this any less of a curse. He still felt like a freak of nature, he still felt angry that he ended up paying the price for something his father had failed to complete, as per usual. He loved this child, but he didn't love the life it was going to grow up in. 

"Rockstar, you okay?" Cas asked. Dean shook his head and sighed. 

"Yeah I'm- I'm okay." He nodded. 

"You sure? You look like someone just stole the last Twizzler." He chuckled. Dean hummed a laugh. He didn't even realise he was showing so much concern in his face. Abruptly, he felt his stomach tighten, like someone was clutching into his middle for dear life. Fortunately, they just arrived at the store, so Cas could park the car. He swung the car into the nearest spot he could and turned off the engine. 

"Dean, what's wrong." He said firmly, as he was clearly showing signs of distress. Dean gripped onto the fabric of his t-shirt. His breathing was all over the place. 

"I don't know it just...hurts." He stammered. Cas took a hold of his hands in attempt to calm him down. 

"Does it hurt like when you went to hospital a few days ago?" He asked. Dean shook his head. 

"No, it aches... it aches everywhere..." he said. Cas thought he knew what was going on, but obviously you can't be sure in a situation like theirs. 

"Hun, just breathe, relax. You're alright." He said soothingly. Dean looked up at him with sad eyes. He felt so remorseful, because his eyes merely displayed his confusion and cluelessness. Dean gripped onto his hands and breathed deeply through gritted teeth, until eventually, his grasp weakened and he let go. 

"What the fuck was that?" He groaned and let his body recline. 

"I'm not exactly sure but, I think it was one of those fake labour pains. I forget what they're called; but they're to prepare you for the real thing. A practise run, I guess." Cas informed. Deans face fell and his eyes widened. 

"So you're telling me that was a 'practise'? If it was then how in the hell am I supposed to do the real thing?!" He stressed.

"You're a lot stronger than you think you are, Dean." Cas said. Dean sighed and looked out the window at the word around him. He suddenly felt surrounded by judging eyes. He wrapped his arms around his waist to protect himself. 

"Again?" Cas asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"No. But uhm, do you have anything I could wear? Like a sweater or a hoodie?" He felt his body closing in on itself in shame. 

"Uhh, yeah I think so. Let me check." Cas got out of the car and checked the trunk. He pulled out one of Sams old Stanford sweaters he gave to Dean. 

"Here. But why do you need it? It's not that cold." He said. Dean took his flannel shirt off and pulled the sweater over his t-shirt. 

"Because, Cas, this isn't normal. As much as I love our kid, this is still a curse." Dean said sorrowfully. Cas exhaled and shut the car door and went to help Dean out of his side. He took ahold of Cas' hand and gripped it tight as he looked at the doorway. There was zilch intimidating about this store, well, unless you find pastel colours and ridiculously soft things to be intimidating then yeah it was. 

Bells rang as Cas opened the door. A woman in a teddy bear sweetest greeted them. Dean felt his arms tighten around this middle protectively. 

"Gee, you boys sure are early. It's usually quiet for me at this time." She chirped. Dean clung to Cas like a toddler in a busy supermarket. 

"We've heard good things about this place." He said and looked at Dean. 

"You boys expecting?" She asked politely. Dean jumped in before Cas could even inhale. 

"No. We're here for a friend. She can't travel and we thought we'd step in." He said. Cas stared at him in confusion, but he refused to lock eyes with him. 

"Awe, how sweet of you. Well, if there's anything I can help you with, gimme a shout." She said. Cas nodded a thank you. 

****  
After two hours, they finally checked out and got back to the car. 

"You sure this is gonna fit in the car?" Dean asked as he watched Cas fumble over a ginormous box. 

"It's got no choice." He grunted as he finally got the crib in the back. "One down..." he counted the boxes at Deans feet and sighed, tilting his head back. 

"Hey, you were the one that brought me here." Dean held his hands up and chuckled. 

"And you were the one that insisted we buy the entire line." He replied. 

"What can I say? I'm loyal." He shrugged. Dean watched Cas lift the boxes into the car. He felt guilty just watching him do all the work. So he picked up a box and lifted it to the back seat. 

"Hey, woah. What do you think you're doing?" Cas said. Dean mumbled as he struggled with the box until he finally got it in a safe spot. 

"Helping. I can't just watch while you do all the heavy lifting." He dusted his hands off and went to grab another box, but Cas stopped him by putting a hand in his chest. 

"Dean, I'm not the one doing the heavy lifting." He looked him up and down. "Just go sit in the front, I can handle this." 

Dean narrowed his eyes and picked up another box. He went to put it in the back seat but dropped it suddenly as he felt another agonising strain around his abdomen and back. He staggered until he could lean on the car. Cas sat down his box and ran to his side. 

"It- It's happening ag-again." He faltered. Cas put a hand on his back and held his hand. Dean clutched it back, and then released it again. Castiels heart was pounding, they shouldn't have been happening like that. 

"We should get you home." He said. Dean nodded and sat in the front of the car, whilst Cas quickly packed the rest of their items in the back. 

Cas, Jack and Sam all contemplated the amount of furniture before them. They hadn't really planned this out. Clearly. Dean walked up behind them and put a hand on Cas' shoulder. 

"Chop chop boys." He joked. They laughed sweetly and all headed to different boxes. Dean opened a tin of peach coloured paint. Cas stopped him and put a mask over his mouth and tucked it behind his ears. 

"Safety first." He said. Dean squinted at him. 

"Oh, So now you care about protection?" He said. Sam choked on his water. 

"Kidding!" He said. Cas pulled his mask down and kissed him softly. 

"Gross." Jack and Sam said in unison. Dean flipped them off. They giggled like school boys and all got started on their separate projects. 

****  
"HOW CAN THERE BE SO MANY PIECES?!" Sam held out his arms at the hundreds of odd bits in front of him. "IT'S A CRIB NOT THE EIFFEL TOWER!" 

Dean chuckled and sat beside him, looking at the instructions. 

"Hey it's easy. You just.... uhhhh." His eyes widened at the pictures and letters on the pages. 

"Gee thanks, genius." Sam scoffed a laugh and took the paper from him. Dean smiled and tried to stand up to finish the paint job, but the anchor inside him weighed him down. He sighed and shut his eyes. Cas walked up the stairs with a tray of mugs filled with steamy brews and handed them out. 

"Cas..." He said with a pout. "I can't get up." 

"Good, don't." He handed him and me and kissed his forehead. Dean smiled fondly, but he still felt extremely useless. 

"Hey guys, look!" Jack said. He pushed the rocking chair and watched it go back and forth. He was fascinated. 

"Wow, good job kid!" Dean said, his eyes bright. 

"Why don't you try it out?" Jack said. Dean nodded and Cas helped him up. He sat down and instantly felt like he was in a different universe. A universe of clouds and only clouds. 

"If you need me at any point in the next 3 years. I'll be here." He said. Cas giggled and handed him his mug back. He leant on the arm of the chair and spoke charmingly to Dean. Sam smiled at them, he wished him and Gabriel could be like that again.

He didn't understand what happened to him. It was like ever since they found out Dean was pregnant his brain switched completely. Like it was anything to do with him? He sighed and continued building the crib. 

"Sammy, you okay?" Dean asked, looking away from Cas. Sam hesitated but decided to answer. 

"Yeah just, I wish me and Gabriel could be like you two again. I don't know what's going on with him." 

"What do you mean?" Cas questioned, nearing him and sitting in the floor. 

"I don't know. He's just been weird for a few months now. It's like he changed overnight." He chuckled to hide his lament. 

"You're too good for him." Dean tutted. Cas' head snapped as he looked at him. 

"What? He is? This is probably a good thing." He said. Sams head hung low. 

"I just wanna know why. What did I do? Why does he keep leaving all the time?" He shook his head. The room fell silent for a moment until Jack spoke up. 

"Do you want some ice-cream? I heard that helps." He said. Sam smiled. 

"Thank you, but I'll pass." He scrunched his nose. Jack nodded and went back to clearing up the packaging from the rocking chair. Dean suddenly seethed and rearranged himself on the chair, breathing shakily. Once again, Cas bolted to him. As routine, he grabbed his hands and tried his best to soothe him and coach him. 

"Hey, shhhh, it's okay." He said softly. 

"Dean?" Sam shot up and stood beside Cas. Dean took deep breaths and edged himself forward, closer to him. Cas rubbed his thumb across Deans knuckles as they waited it out. Dean relaxed and let go of his hand. 

"They're getting worse." Dean uttered. Castiels faces paled. 

"What do you mean 'they'?" What's 'they'?" He asked, his eyes darting between them both. 

"These pains. They're getting a lot stronger." He exhaled. Sam shook his head as if to say 'what does that mean?'

"That means it's almost time." Cas mumbled in shock. It was far too early, even for a nephilim. 

"Time? What do you mean 'time'? Dinner time, lunch time, hammer time?! Time for what?" Dean said quickly, his heart thumping. He wasn't ready yet. He had not prepared himself at all. 

"You know what I mean, Dean." He said. His eyes burnt with fear. 

"Sammy, you better get back to making that crib."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS LATE AND I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT MYSELF FOR PUTTING HAMMER TIME SKSKS WHAT IS WRoNG WITH ME  
> This is unedited, sorry!
> 
> I'm not really happy with this chapter. I’m kinda just psyching myself up for the next chapter ;)
> 
> buckle up kids


	11. a storm is coming tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one bois so grab a mug of ur favourite drink and get comfy

Dean went to bed abnormally early that night, whilst Cas stayed awake with Sam and finished up a few things in the baby's room. As he folded and put away their clothes, he couldn't help but notice how anxious he was, it was starting to make him feel ill. He leant on the dresser and sighed as his head fell into his hands. 

"Cas? You okay buddy?" Sam asked, turning away from all the cardboard he was folding and sorting. 

"I'm nervous, Sam. Really nervous. I don't know what to do with myself." He answered sincerely. Sam exhaled and leant his back against the crib. He thought for a moment because he was clueless as to what he would respond, mostly because he felt the exact same. 

"Me too. The best thing we can do is be there for him, that's what he needs right now." He shrugged. Cas nodded and rolled his tongue around his mouth. 

"I mean, at least you had some kind of experience with this sort of stuff. You were a great help to Kelly, and I'm sure she's eternally grateful for that and all you did for her. And look at Jack, he's barely a year old and look how intelligent and kind-hearted he is, not to mention his hunting skills. You're going to be okay." Sam said. Cas appreciated his efforts, truly, but his heart was still aching. Because Dean is still human, and human bodies cannot physically cope with the amount of stress it's put under during the birth of a nephilim. That's obvious. 

"Do you think Dean's gonna make it?" Cas said softly as he held one of the baby's blankets in his hands. Sam looked down at his hands, before hesitantly shaking his head. 

"No... I don't." He said sadly. Cas nodded, his eyes flooding with tears. He was aware of this, but hearing someone else have the same thought just took another blow at his heart. 

"But he will be okay. He'll be in heaven this time." Cas shrugged as he chuckled sadly. "His heaven is wonderful. Driving around in a nice car, belting out his favourite songs whilst the wind runs through his hair, hot chocolate and donuts, his favourite blanket... He's gonna have the best time." Cas cried, confusing tears. He loved Dean so fucking much, love was even the word. The word for how much he adored Dean Winchester did not yet exist. He was going to miss him so much, but he was happy that he got to make him his own heaven, a place that he would finally be at peace, a place that he deserved. 

A few tears slid down Sams cheek too. He was glad that Dean was going to heaven. He knew he would be joyous and comforted... Finally. 

"So, do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Sam rubbed his tears away. Cas pondered. 

"Well," He chuckled "Jack wants it to be a girl, so I've kind of jumped on that wagon." 

"Really? Nah, I think it's a boy, a hundred percent." Sam smiled. 

"Well fellas, pretty sure you'll find out soon." A voice said from the other side of the door. It was Dean. He pushed it open with his side. His face was pale and sweaty and his eyes were a lilac colour. He hadn't slept at all. 

"I think I'm having a baby." He uttered. His knees and hips went weak and he fumbled to the ground, but Cas luckily caught him before he hurt himself. Sam got up and knelt by his side. 

"Are you sure? How do you-" Sam said, panic glazed his eyes.

"Well- I uhh- these pains are getting worse, an-and there's like...more of them. So I googled it and all the webpages said 'you just know' and, well. I just know." Dean stammered. Sam and Cas looked at each other, utterly bewildered.

"What can we do for you? To maybe, uhh, help?" Cas asked, smiling lopsidedly. 

"I read that warm water helps. I'm willing to try anything." He groaned and clung on to Cas and he felt like his body was slowly splitting in half. Cas communicated with Sam with his eyes, and he got up to run him a warm bath whilst he still clung into his shoulders. Cas was horrified, he had no idea what he could do to help and felt completely powerless. Dean was whimpering and grumbling in pain on his chest, and there was nothing he could do. All he could use was his words. So he did. 

"Hey, shh, you're okay, you're alright..." He mollified. Dean exhaled and sat up. 

"This isn't going to be fun." He whispered.

****  
Sam left Dean and Cas alone for a moment whilst he informed Jack of what was happening. As much as he didn't want it to be happening, he had to tell him the truth. Plus, this wasn't something you could hide. He knocked softly on his door and opened it slightly. He was sat with his headphones on, bopping his head slightly to the music as he coloured in his Star Wars colouring book. Sam waved at him, so he paused his music and sat his headphones around his neck. 

"Hey Sam." He smiled sweetly. Sam forced a smile back. He moved a few of his pencils over and sat on the edge of his bed. 

"Hey, buddy. Uhh..." he scratched the back of his head and stalled. The thing is with Jack is that he's incredible with sensing that something is up, just never what exactly. 

"What's going on?" He said, his tone of voice suddenly switching into a far more stern and serious type. 

"Well, uhh..." Sam cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "Dean's um, Dean's having the baby." He said, startling himself at how peculiar those words sounded coming out of his mouth. 

"Right now?!" He exclaimed. Sams eyes widened. 

"Yes...no. Technically? Don't, you're making me nervous!" He laughed as he watched Jacks smile increase in size. 

"Sorry, sorry." He shook his head, a smile still present on his face. But it soon faded as he fiddled with the zip of his hoodie. "Is he gonna be okay?" He asked. Sam patted his leg in attempt to comfort him. 

"We're not sure, but he's strong you know." Sam smiled weakly. Jack nodded in agreement. 

"If you need me for anything, I'll try my best to help." He said sweetly. Sam nodded and left his room. 

Dean hummed to himself to keep himself focused. Most people would want some sort of relaxing music in a situation like this, but Dean was pretty content humming Kansas to himself. His humming got deeper and he fumbled around to grip onto Castiels hands. This was Deans way of telling him he was having another contraction. Cas was still helpless, so he just found himself saying the same words over and over again. 

"You're doing great, rockstar. You're okay..." he played with his hair, which was making Dean increasingly sleepy. 

"I'm not. This is killing me, literally." He exhaled and leant on the side of the bathtub. Cas tilted his head and his smile slipped. 

"You don't know that, Dean. I mean, look at the amount of times you've died and come back. There's got to be some way." Cas said, trying to convince himself. He was still completely aware about the decision he made. He adored Dean, but he knew how much it would crush him if he lost their child. It would bring out a whole new side of him that Cas never wanted to see, ever.

"Well there isn't Cas. Don't you be hiring no witches or voodoo maniacs to bring me back, you hear?" Dean looked up at him. Cas sighed and nodded. 

"Pinky promise?" Dean held out his pinky. Cas looked at his face, he was deadly serious. 

"Pinky promise." He said and locked their pinkies. Dean leant over and kissed him, before unlocking their pinkies and switching to gripping onto his hand again. 

"Ow ow ow..." Dean mumbled. "These suck." He breathed. 

"I know. Well, I don't know. But...you're doing great." Cas uttered. Dean laughed at him. 

"You're so lame." He strained, as he still felt like someone was digging rusty nails into his back. 

"But you love me." His mouth curved into a smile. Dean plastered a gritted-teeth-grin on his face. 

"Not right now I don't." He chirped sarcastically through gritted teeth.

Once the pain was over, Dean decided to get out and change into some comfy clothes. Which consisted of a baggy Bon Jovi t-shirt and some sweatpants. He sat on the floor in his room and leant on his arms against the bed, drifting off to sleep but then being shaken by an abrupt and nasty sting. Cas pulled out a towel for Dean to kneel on and draped his blanket around him. There was a quiet knock at the door. 

"Yeah?" Cas said softly, as Dean was almost asleep. 

"It's Sam, am I allowed in?" He asked. Cas looked at Dean, who nodded sleepily. Cas opened the door and smiled warmly at him. Sam felt like he was in some bizarre dream. He had no idea how to approach his brother, he was usually like a sleeping bear but this felt exceptionally out of sorts. Still, he had to be there for him, so he cautiously sat beside him and spoke as gently as he could. 

"Hey, how are we doing?" He said, looking at Cas for validation. 

"Peachy." Dean said. His voice was hoarse and made Sam feel second hand exhaustion just at the sound of it. Dean rocked himself from side to side, his chin rested in his arms. Abruptly, he began to grumble as push himself off the bed. 

"Owwww, Cas..." He drew out in one breath as he made a grabby hand for him. Cas immediately sat with him. Dean clung to his front, mumbling curse words under his breath into the fabric of his t-shirt. He rocked him slightly and ran his fingers through his hair to comfort him. Sam just watched in bewilderment. He'd seen his brother go through a lot. A lot a lot. But never something like this. He'd never seen pain completely engulf him before like that. It was scary, but a weird kind of scary. Like watching a horror movie in a foreign language. 

Sam looked at Cas in amazement. 

"How long does this go on for?" He asked. Dean leant off Cas and sat up. 

"Too long." He exhaled. "I feel like I've had about a thousand of 'em." Cas smiled at him sympathetically. 

"They're about every eight minutes or so." He said. Dean sighed. He didn't feel like anything was actually happening or progressing. He just felt off, of course, he'd never been through this before. This was all new to him, but not the good kind. His mind kept tricking him into thinking he was doing everything wrong due to the increasing amount of pain he was in. He just really wanted to fall asleep and miraculously wake up with a baby in his arms. Even just for his last moments. 

"Cas, could you get me some water?" He asked, half mumbling into the duvet he was gripping onto for comfort. 

"Of course." He said and planted a kiss on his temple. He gently shut the door behind him and headed for the kitchen. Jack was sat at the table, staring endlessly at his hands clasped in front of him. 

"Jack? You okay?" Cas asked, waving a hand in front of him. Jack blinked rapidly and went for his hand. 

"Hey, it's okay. It's just me." He said. "I'm gonna go get Deans water, but I'll be back." He reassured. Jack nodded. Cas went and filled up a glass of water for Dean and went back to him on his way. 

"Are you alright, Jack? You seem a little out of it." Cas said gently. He sat back and fidgeted with his hands. 

"I-I'm fine. I just, don't like hearing what my mother went through. What- What killed her." He said, struggling to find his words, them somehow getting caught by his tongue and being locked in the cage of his mind. 

"I understand. You don't have to be here if you don't want to, I'll let you take my car and-" Cas tried, the stopped and Jack shook his head. 

"No. No I have to be here for Dean. What if something goes wrong and- you need help or..." He shrugged, his voice starting to increase in pace. 

"Jack. We appreciate that, but I don't want you seeing what your mom went through. It wouldn't be fair. Plus, this is hard enough for all of us as it is." Cas said. Jack nodded and gazed down at his feet. 

"I know. But I'll be here." He said. Cas nodded with a sigh, but his neck snapped as he looked upstairs, hearing Cean cry out in agony. Jack winced at the crippling sound. Cas bolted up the stairs to him, the glass of water spilling across his wrist. He opened the door and kicked it shut, placing the glass on the bedside table. Dean was clutching Sams hand for dear life. 

"Cas- I- I don't know what to do!" Sam looked up at him in desperation. "He said this one feels worse..." 

Cas knelt beside Dean and pushed his hair out of his face. 

"Hey, talk to me." Cas said. Deans chest was rising and falling irregularly and out of sync; his heart was pounding so much that he could feel it ripple throughout his entire upper body. 

"I don't know. T-This one just really fucking hurts." Dean said and punctuated with a deep, chesty grumble. "I can feel it moving, a-and my hips hurt a-and I cold-..." He stammered. Cas nodded along as he spoke. Despite how sweaty Dean was, he pulled out his blanket from a drawer and wrapped it around him, holding him close and tucking his head under his chin. Sam was aghast at what was happening. He often managed to adapt to situations pretty quickly, but this was just too much for him. He got up and left for the bathroom.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Cas looked up at him as he left. His eyes were teary and his shoulders were shrugged to his jawline. 

"I'll be back in a minute." He said bluntly. Dean attempted to uncurl himself. 

"Sammy?" His voice broke. Cas smiled at how Dean could still be so selfless, even at a time like this. 

"He's fine." Cas tugged the blanket around him. Dean pushing himself upwards and off his boyfriend. 

"No, Cas he's not fine. Go after him." He breathed. 

"Dean I'm not leaving you!" His expression hardened. 

"Castiel." Dean said firmly. Cas felt a twinge in his chest at him saying his full name. 

"There better still be one person when I get back in this room." He said. Dean rolled his eyes and leant his back against his bed. About thirty seconds later, there was a tiny knock at the door and it slowly creaked open. Jack hid behind the door and peaked behind it, like a child who's just been caught drawing in the wall. 

"It's okay, Jack." Dean assured. The door opened a little more and Jack stepped inside. 

"I'm not gonna bite you." He chuckled. "You've got t-minus 6 minutes until I have another contraction so, have a seat but make it quick." 

"Are you okay?" He asked softly. Dean blinked slowly and rearranged his position, but his body immediately told him to stay still. 

"Define 'okay'." He said as he exhaled. 

"Sorry, stupid question." His body tensed. Dean smiled. 

"Don't worry about it." He said. The room fell silent for a moment as Jack thought. He just wanted to be with Dean, he didn't want to not see him before he went. 

"Do you have any names picked out?" He questioned. Deans eyes widened and his brows furrowed as he realised that he hadn't. At all.

"Shit. No I haven't." He laughed. "Have you?" He shot him a look. 

"Kinda. But it's dumb." Jack shrugged and swung his feet in embarrassment. Dean tilted his head at him. 

"Lemme hear it. Then I'll judge." He crossed his arms over his stomach. 

"Well, I like the rain and thunder and lightning..." his head swayed with his words. "And sometimes I listen to it because it helps me sleep. So I just thought of uhh, Storm..." 

The corners of Deans mouth quirked into a smile. 

"I like it. I like it a lot actually." He nodded. They both smiled, but they soon vanished as Dean grumbled and turned to lean on the bed again. Jack stood suddenly. 

"Should I go get Cas?" He asked. Dean shook his head. 

"No, no it's okay." He said, trying to reassure himself. It wasn't until he felt a gush and saw his sweatpants dampen that he changed his mind. Both of their eyes widened. 

"On second thought, maybe..." Dean panted. Jack bolted out the door to find Cas and Sam. 

****  
Cas looked in and out of room until he eventually found Sam in the bathroom, leant against the sink, in tears. 

"Sam?" He called out. 

"I can't do it Cas. I can't watch him like that." He said as he ran his shaky hands through his hair. 

"You have to have seen worse." He said flatly. Sam paced back and forth. 

"No, Cas, I haven't." He spat. "I'd much rather see him be torn to shreds than this. This, is the worst." 

Cas rolled his eyes and tuned his body. He needed Sam to be strong right now. He knew it was difficult but Dean needed them both to be strong. 

"Sam, I know it's hard, but I need you to get it together. Dean is in there, alone, but maybe not for long if we don't get back to him." Cas pointed at the ground in emphasis. Sam narrowed his eyes. 

"How could you be so ignorant to the fact that he is dying Cas?!" He hugged his shoulders. 

"Because I know where he's going! He'll be in heaven. Our heaven." The muscle in his jaw twitched. 

"Winchester's don't go to heaven Cas! And if they do, they don't stay for very long before they're ripped away and shit down to hell. That's how it works." Sam held his arms out. They both jumped at the sound of someone against the door. Jack burst in frantically. 

"Guys, listen, we need to hurry up because Dean's-" Jack stopped as the scream coming from his room spoke a thousand words. It sounded different. It felt different. Sam and Cas looked at each other. 

"You get towels and anything you think we need. I'll go to Dean." Cas said. Sam nodded and immediately pulled towels from the storage in the bathroom. Cas ran to his room and saw Dean, trembling and crying in fear.

"Cas... my water- I just- I can't do this!" He broke out into full blown sobs. Cas sat in front of him and began pulling at his sweatpants. 

"Rockstar, breathe. Deep breaths for me, okay?" Cas said. Dean tried to take deep breaths, but he kept breaking out in cries and grumbles. Sam ran in with towels and a box full of other supplies. He quickly handed Cas and towel. Cas pushed it underneath where Dean was sat and finally got his sweatpants off. 

"Shit. I forgot something. I'll be right back!" Sam shot up.

"That's what I said last time and look what happened!" Cas shouted. Dean grunted and Cas watched his knuckles whiten as he clung to the duvet. His face was scrunched up and he let out a breath. 

"Cas... I can't wait. I need to push." He breathed. Cas wasn't for waiting either. Neither was this baby. 

Sam rifled through the drawers in search for scissors, when he felt someone touch his shoulder. He jolted back. 

"Hey hun, how's life?" The voice said. To Sams surprise and disgust, it was Gabriel. 

"Gabriel? What are you- you know what? Now's not the time." He shook his head and went back to searching for the god forsaken scissors that were nowhere to be found. 

"No, now is the time isn't it. The time we've all been waiting for." He sang. Sams jaw clenched. 

"Aw, don't pout. It's not like he'll be here to endure the nightmare of being a parent. It'll all be perfect." He kissed his fingers. Sam continued to claw through the drawer until he felt a ray of sunshine shine down in him and he saw the yellow handle of the scissors. 

"Thank God." He grabbed them and sped past Gabriel. 

"He ain't done shit." Gabriel said. Sam rolled his eyes and made his way up the stairs. He didn't have time to think why in the hell he decided to show up now, after being in and out for weeks, barely saying a word to anyone. 

Sam slammed Deans door shut and sat by them both. 

"Sam! What on earth took so long?!" Cas asked. 

"Well one, I couldn't find the scissors and two, Gabriel decided to make an appearance." He said. 

"Awesome. He's not the only one making a fucking appearance!" Dean spat. He growled again and clung to Sams front. Sam felt the tension in Deans body and he clung to him. He could feel him giving everything his body had to get this baby out. He let out another breath and grit his teeth. 

"I can't do it." He said weakly. Cas put a hand on Deans side lovingly. 

"Yes you can, Dean." Cas said. Dean still shook his head and panted. 

"Hey, you can. You're a Winchester." Sam said. Dean smiled sadly and pushed until he felt like his body was going to give out. He felt his joints go limp and he collapsed onto Sam. He held him close and waited for the agonising silence to be broken. 

"Why- Why isn't there crying?" Sam said. The room feel silent again. The only sounds were their intense breathing. The silence was broken by the sound of cries. Sam and Cas sighed with relief and chuckled. However Dean was still unresponsive on Sams chest. Cas wrapped their baby in a towel and bundled them up in his arms. 

"It's a girl." He exhaled and smiled at her. 

"Dean...?" Cas said softly, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer. Cas blinked, tears fell from his eyes and slid gracefully down his cheeks. Sam choked back tears and wrapped his arms around him. The room feel silent again, it this time it felt different. It felt sad and conclusive. All up until Sam felt a movement on his chest. Dean wriggled and feebly pushed himself up. 

"Storm. Our daughter is called Storm."


	12. born to be my baby

It had been just over an hour since Storm was born, but Dean still hadn't held her. Before he was worried about holding her because he felt so physically weak, however this still just felt off to him. Another reason was that he just couldn't get enough of seeing Cas holding her, and seeing a look in his eyes that he'd never seen on him before, or on anyone for that matter. In a way it hurt him, it hurt his heart; because he wanted it to last forever. Dean propped himself up in bed with a grunt. 

"Take it easy, rockstar." Cas said softly. 

"I'm fine." Dean replied. His face said otherwise. 

"Dean, you gave birth less than two hours ago. It's okay to relax. You both deserve it and need it." Cas said. 

"Thank you, Cas. But I am okay, just a little sore." He shrugged. Cas nodded and shifted his weight on his feet, watching their daughters eyelids get heavier. Dean smiled softly.

"She's sleepy." He hummed. Dean nodded. Castiel glanced at him with slight perplexity in his eyes. He perched himself on the side of the bed, being weary of Storm in his arms. 

"Do you want to hold her? She'll probably just fall asleep in your arms." He said. Dean hugged his shoulders to prevent himself holding his arms out for her. He shook his head, afraid that if he spoke he wouldn't be able to control the words that came out of his mouth.

"Dean, why haven't you held her yet? You didn't even hold her when she came out. What's holding you back?" He asked. Dean drew in a shaky breath as he watched her. 

"I just... don't want to get attached. I was supposed to die, I was ready to. What if it's just a glitch in the system or something. I could die any minute now." He shrugged. 

"I don't understand why you're alive either, but shouldn't we just be happy that you're still here with us?" He said. Dean stayed quiet. 

"Dean." Cas said sternly. He looked at him. "Just hold your daughter." 

Dean hesitantly held out his arms and Cas gently placed her on his forearms. She mumbled and hummed tiredly. Dean felt his heart jump with joy and adoration at the little bundle in his arms. 

"Hiya Storm." He said as she wrapped her fingers around his thumb. He cried with chuckle and wiped a few tears away with his shoulder. Cas helped him and wiped them from his cheek with his thumb. 

"She's so gorgeous." He smiled as he looked down at her, realising this is also the first time he'd ever even looked at her. 

"Isn't she." Cas enhanced. His voice was tender and sweet. Everything felt okay and safe. Which was extremely rare for them. 

"I just wanna protect her with everything I have. I wish I was normal so her only problems would be which colour seat to sit in in kindergarten, or getting brain freeze from her favourite ice cream. Not having to remember what to do when when kidnapped by a vampire or how many weapons to carry." 

"You day that like it's inevitable. Nothing and nobody is going to harm our daughter. And that is a promise, Dean Winchester." Cas said, tugging his chin so they made eye contact. 

"I'm just so scared Cas, because I love her so much." Dean shrugged. 

"I know Rockstar, so do I; and that's why we will let nobody hurt her." He nodded. Dean nodded back and looked back at Storm, whom was now sleeping soundly in his arms. 

"She needs a middle name." He said. Cas raised an eyebrow. 

"None of us have middle names?" 

"I know. That's why I want her to have one." He smiled. They both pondered for a moment. 

"Jude? Like 'Hey Jude'?" Cas said. 

"Storm Jude. It doesn't sound right." Dean said. 

"You're right. Hm." They went back to thinking. 

"Storm Elvis." Dean whispered dramatically. 

"Gross." Cas said. They chuckled harmoniously. 

"What about Jovi? That's one of your favourite bands, plus you wore a Bon Jovi shirt when she was born." He said. Dean thought about it, then smiled. 

"Storm Jovi Winchester. I love it." He beamed. 

"Me too." He hummed. 

"She's going to be the coolest kid." Dean scrunched his nose at her. 

"I mean with that name, she already is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short, it was gonna be longer but I decided to split it so we can have some kinda fluff going on  
> fun fact: her name was originally Jovi, but I had to change it bc people couldn't interpreted that as I tried to copy a certain someone, which made me so uncomfortable sksks. I didn't have a name until halfway through the last chapter and thought of the title and was like "wait holy shit that's her name"
> 
> I really hope you like her name as much as I do :') 
> 
> thank you for reading! x. 
> 
> bye!


	13. there’s something about gabe

Four days later Dean was up and walking around, even doing some of the night feeds for Storm. He was still a little wobbly though of course. Gabriel was still hovering around like a buzzing bluebottle, even Sam just wanted him to fly out the window, just a shame they didn't have any. 

Sam sat at the table with Storm in his arms. She was tiny, but in his arms she looked minuscule. Jack still hadn't held her yet, although he was desperate too. He did hold her hand every now and then when she was in somebody else's hold, but he was still so apprehensive. Dean, Cas and Sam were desperate to see baby Storm in his arms.   
Gabriel hadn't held her either, which, unlike Jack, they were content with it staying that way; especially Dean. Something about the fact that he just appeared out of thin air the day she was born felt bizarre to him. He was not letting him near her. Neither was Cas. He wished he could trust his brother like Sam and Dean did, but he simply couldn't, something had always been rather off about him. In between all of this was Sam. He was hurt that Gabe would just throw him around like some sort of plaything, picking him up and dropping him as he pleased. Despite this, he still had a soft spot for him, as much as he didn't want to he couldn't help but love him, just a little bit. 

Storm stirred and spluttered in Sams arms, eventually turning into a cry. Dean walked in, swirling her formula around in the bottom of her bottle. 

"Someone sounds hungry." He said as he sat down beside them. Sam nodded. 

"Yeah, I'm starving." Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. Storm was laid in his arms and he cooed until the bottle met her mouth. She stopped crying immediately and blinked sweetly. Dean smiled at her and softly spun his seat back and forth. 

"I'd never thought I'd see you look so lovingly at a baby before." Sam said, looking over from his laptop. 

"Me neither. But how could I not, just look at her!" He beamed. Sam smiled fondly at the pair. It was peculiar for him to see his brother in such a state of awe and happiness, but hell was it wonderful. It was rubbing off on everyone too, except Gabriel. 

"Has it stopped whining yet?" He groaned as he walked in with a glass of whiskey. He leant against the doorframe and swirled the copper liquid around in his glass. 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, she has. Unlike you." He took a swig of his drink and kissed his teeth. 

"Seriously? You're drinking? It's 2pm." He held Storm on his shoulder to burp her. 

"That never stopped you." He scoffed in response. "Little spot has made the Dean Winchester into a big softie." He pouted his bottom lip. Deans fist balled and he bit his lip. This was Jacks cue to leave, he despised unnecessary confrontation, so, all confrontation in general. 

"Her name is Storm." He said firmly. 

"Foreshadowing are we? Poor thing has nothing good going for it and-" he paused as he heard a voice in the back of his head. 

"Be nice Gabriel, we need him."   
He gathered his thoughts and gave his body a shake. 

"You know what? You're right, this whiskey is getting to me. I'm sorry. Storm is a great name." He smiled. The brothers looked at each other in confusion. 

"Hold on, did you just say Dean was right?" Sam furrowed his brows. 

"-Yeah." He gulped. Dean tilted his head. 

"Wow, that's the first time you've ever been right about anything." He said. Gabriel merely shrugged in response. 

"Well, if you guys need anything. I'll be in the kitchen." He said and left the room. The brothers just stared blankly in bafflement. 

"Did you slip something in his drink?" Dean said. 

"I was gonna ask you the same question." Sam said. Cas then approached them from upstairs. He mirrored their facial expressions, but it instantly softened when he saw Storm in his lovers grasp. He made a b-line for her. Dean gently handed her over to him. 

"What's going on? Why do you both look so shell-shocked?" He said after a moment. 

"Nothing, really. Gabriel is just acting... weird." Sam said as he went back to his laptop. 

"Doesn't he always act that way?" He raised an eyebrow. Dean smiled at him. 

"Yeah but this is really weird. He said that I was right. He actually admitted he was in the wrong." He shrugged. Castiels face scrunched up into perplexity. 

"Oh that is weird." He said quietly as he began to lightly bounce Storm in his arms. 

"I don't think we should question it just yet. Let's see how far it goes." Sam proposed. They all nodded in unison. 

"Agreed. But if he buys me a Harley Davidson... I'm taking it but then he's out! For real this time!" Dean said. Cas continued to bounce and wander around with Storm as Dean felt a sharp pain in the lower left of his stomach. 

"You okay?" Sam asked. He nodded in response. 

"Yeah it's just. I had a baby less than a week ago so-" he chuckled. Sam smiled. 

"Understood." 

Dean decided to make himself a hot drink to distract himself from the awful feeling of his body trying to repair itself. He headed to the kitchen and filled the kettle. He put a peppermint tea bag in his favourite mug and added some sugar. He hated this shit, but it was all that made him feel better. He smiled at the photo printed on the mug; it was taken at New Years several years ago now and gifted to him for his birthday, so it was starting to look a little rough around the edges, but Dean didn't care, he loved that picture. 

He poured the hot water over the tea bag and the smell of sweet peppermint filled his airways. He heard the door shut and abruptly turned around. It was Gabriel. 

"What did I say? If you needed anything, just ask!" He smiled, taking over Deans mug and stirring it for him. 

"Thanks but, I'm perfectly capable of making myself a hot drink..." he said hesitantly. Gabriel brushed him off.

"You shouldn't even be standing right now. You should be in bed, resting, with the- with Storm." He said. He sounded like his mother. 

"Seriously. I'm fine." Dean went to grab to sugar to put it away but suddenly felt his insides churn, gauging the sugar spill everywhere. He gasped and clung on to the counter. 

"What's the matter?!" Gabriel said urgently. 

"It-s nothing. My body is just... trying to put itself back together." He stuttered. The angel tilted his head and tutted. 

"Silly. I could've done that for you. Here." He said and cupped his face. 

"No Gabe really you don't-" dean tried, but it was too late. He let go of his face and stood back. Dean hated to admit this, but he'd never felt that good in his life. He felt healthy, rejuvenated, content; which was bizarre. 

"Wow, thank you." He breathed. Gabe smiled and passed him his mug. Dean took it and went on his way. The angels chirpy smile faded as the door shut. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this up for. 

"Be nice Gabriel, we need him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has Luka forgotten how to write? You're darn sure I have! What!! Is !! This !! 
> 
> SorRy I haven't updated I started college and then had a really bad relapse. 
> 
> So in conclusion if anyone has a brain for sale let me know. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> — Luka


	14. Chapter 14

"I can't do it sir." Gabriel admitted with his head hung low. The guard behind him tugged at the chains attached to his wrists and neck, forcing him to look up at his superior. 

"Excuse me?" The voice boomed from the dark void. Gabriel's heart began to thud at the sound of his tone. 

"He and I have never got along your highness, it would be impossible for me to even get close to him. Your plan has too many faults for it to succeed." He answered. The silence was eerie. 

"Funny for you to critique my faults, Gabriel." He said sternly. His body began to tremble with fear, so much that the chains began to rattle. 

"I-I'm sorry sir. I'm merely trying to help." He stammered. The voice paused and hummed. 

"You're close to his brother though, aren't you?" He said. His voice was cunning and sly. Gabriel sank his teeth into his bottom lip to prevent him from crying. He truly missed Sam with all of his being, but as soon as Dean fell pregnant something in him snapped. However at the time, Gabriel didn't understand the reason why, but then he came to realise that he was jealous. 

"I was sir, yes." Gabriel flight back tears. The past tense felt like sizzling acid in his tongue as it was a complete and utter lie in his part, but perhaps not Sams. 

"You were? Hmph, what happened?" The voice began to sound like a character from a reality show. Gabe didn't want to say anything about him as he feared he would break down. He just shrugged and turned in on himself. 

"Listen..." the voice said in an eerily soft tone. Gabriel looked up. 

"If you do this for me, I can make Sam Winchester fall in love ugh you again." He said. Gabriel whimpered at the sound of his name. 

"I- I can't. I'm sorry your highness. I'm not strong enough." Gabriel confesses. He would do anything to get Sams love back, but he couldn't do this knowing his love would be artificial, even if Sam didn't know it. The voice sighed and there was a sudden thud. Gabriel jumped. 

"You're right. You're not strong enough." He said through gritted teeth. "Take him away." 

The shackles wound Gabriel's wrists and neck tightened as he was pulled off his feet. The sound of his pleas faded out no echoed through the corridors of the residence. 

"You make me ashamed to be an archangel." The voice scoffed to himself. 

****  
It was 2am and Cas was downstairs with Storm, preparing her bottle. He swirled the formula around the bottle and lightly bounced her in his left arm to keep her comforted.   
All of a sudden he heard the door thud and his eyes grew wide. Storm whimpered and stirred in his grip. He put her bottle in the countertop and held her close. Castiel slowly opened the kitchen door and tip-toed out to investigate. He heard a clambering sound down their metal stairs. Dean emerged from their room, appearing to be woken up by the same sound. Storm began to cry. 

"Hey, shhh, it's alright my love." Cas bounced her and held her hand. 

"Sam? Jeez, it's two in the morning and you look like you've been hit by at least three cars and a motorcycle." Dean said sleepily rubbing his eyes and walking down the stairs. 

"I could same the say for you." Sam slurred. Dean raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Are you drunk?" He asked taking Storm from Cas as he went to retrieve her bottle, that was growing cold. Storm rested on Deans shoulder and whined. 

"Maybeeee." He smiles and laughed. Dean rolled his eyes and rocked his torso to calm his daughter. 

"Sam, this isn't like you. What's going on man?" He asked. Cas came back with the bottle and took Storm from Dean. She settled as Cas began to feed her. 

"I needed a break okay? I'm sick and tired of Gabriel using me as some chew toy. I need fun Deannnn." He drew out. Dean looked over to Cas for support, but he was too invested in feeding their daughter. Although he wasn't complaining. 

"What you need is water and bed. Come on Sam, we'll talk about this tomorrow." He said. Sam surprisingly complied and Dean took him to bed. He felt so sorry for his brother, seeing him like this brought to light how he used to be, and Dean didn't like that at all. He realised that love could either be the making or breaking of someone. This also made him beyond grateful for Cas and their trust in one another, which was something that Sam and Gabe sadly didn't have.

Sam flopped on his bed and Dean fetched him some water. 

"You get some rest now, Sammy." He said. Seconds later the sound of snoring tumbled through his ears. Dean left him alone and went back downstairs. He looked at Cas with Storm and beamed. 

"Is he alright?" He asked. Dean shrugged. 

"Yeah, he will be. He's just had a few too many, that's all. He'll be cranky as hell tomorrow though." He chuckled and Cas smiled faintly. 

"I feel terrible." Dean said as he pulled out a chair to sit on. He tiredly rubbed his forehead. 

"Elaborate." The angel replied and wandered slowly with a slumbering baby upon his shoulder. 

"Everything with Gabe. I never really clicked with him, you know that, but that doesn't mean that my brother couldn't. They clicked like you and I, but it all changed and I can't help but feel like it's my fault. Sam lost his you." He stared at his feet. Cas raised his eyebrows at him. 

"His me?"

"Yeah. Like, you're my angel, my boyfriend, my protector, my everything really. Sam had that too, but not anymore. So he's, lost his you. Everyone needs a you." Dean explained. Cas blushed and hid behind Storm. 

"How could their splitting up be your fault?" He back-tracked. "Sam is a smart man, yes everyone has their moments now and then but if he can do something to improve his life, he'll do it. I can't blame him after having this life that we have. We all have to do things to improve our incredibly screwed up lives from time to time, hell, we deserve it." Cas said, looking down at their daughter as he spoke about doing things to improve their lives. Dean smiled weakly at his response, there was no convincing him that all of this trouble with Gabriel was not his doing. 

"He was the first one I told when I found out I was pregnant." He said regretfully. Cas' eyes widened. 

"Really? Why?" He said in bafflement. Dean sighed. 

"You know what he's like, he sees something and digs until he finds out the details. I was in the bathroom and his damn spidey-senses went off or something. He made me believe I could trust him, so I foolishly told him." Dean shook his head at his past actions. 

"Wow," Cas blinked. "Well, you would've had to tell us at some point." He chuckled. 

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "I don't understand why he told Michael. I blocked that out before she was born but now it just keeps creeping up on me." 

"Gabriel probably just wanted a reaction. That's all he ever wants." Cas said. Dean nodded and yawned. 

"You need sleep mister." He approached him and cupped his face. Dean leant in to his touch. 

"I know, I'm exhausted." He pouted. 

"You go, I'll put Storm to bed." Cas said. They shared a fond kiss and Dean kissed her forehead. 

Castiel gently lay Storm in her crib and pulled the cord of her mobile. It played a soft tune as the animals slowly bounced and spun perpetually. 

"Goodnight sweetheart." He whispered, kissing his fingertips and touching her cheek. He quietly shut the door and headed back to their room. Dean was curled up in bed where he joined him. He traced pretty words gently on Deans back, as he knew he loved it and would instantly send him to sleep. All this discussion about Gabriel had really gotten Castiels mind racing. 

Out of everyone, why did he feel the need to tell Michael?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm so sorry this is not as good as it should be but I was literally drifting in and out of sleep whilst writing it oops. 
> 
> I've finally finished college! Yeehaw my dudes I love being terrified of not knowing what I'm doing with my life ha ya yeet! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Sorry this took forever, your mans has been bUsy. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> — Luka


	15. on the road again

Dean sat at the table, feeding Storm as she lay in his arms, looking up at him and her hands grabbing in the air. 

"I think she's finally found her hands." He smiled as she started to grab the bottle on her own. Cas wrapped his arms lovingly around his lovers shoulders and looked down at their prize. 

"Wow, I've never seen her look so much like you." He chuckled. Dean playfully wriggled out of his grip. The angel combatted this by planting quick kisses up his neck. 

"Get outta here you!" He pouted. Cas scrunched his nose up at him and went to the kitchen to make some coffee for Dean. Even though he was out of anyone's sight, the beam still remained comfortable on his face. None of them had ever had such a soft, warm feeling of content before, and it was lovely. Although they knew it couldn't and wouldn't last forever, so they relished it whilst they could. 

Suddenly, Sam emerged from upstairs with his laptop in hand. He swiftly made his way down the metal stairs and sat his laptop on the table. 

"We have a problem." He announced. Both Cas and Deans faces grew concerned simultaneously. Sam turned his laptop to face them. A news article was on the screen, and what Dean could gather from the information was that this was recent; very recent. 

"33-year-old woman found dead at her house in Pittsburg after suffering several knife wounds and having her eyes burnt out." Dean read. "Shit..." 

"Something like this hasn't happened in months. Trust me, I've been checking to make sure. We have to go and check it out, at least." Sam said. Dean sighed sorrowfully, he knew this sweet little bubble he was in would eventually pop, but Sam was right. 

"Who'll look after Storm?" He said, sadly looking down at her. 

"I will." A voice said from behind them. It was Jack, stood with a bowl of cereal. 

"Jack, we wouldn't want to put that amount of pressure on you-" Cas said. 

"No really, I wouldn't mind at all! I mean, she is kinda my sister." He shrugged. Dean was torn, he both loved and trusted Jack, but he hadn't even held her yet. 

"Jack you haven't even held her yet." Dean said. He put his bowl of cereal down on the table and gently approached her. 

"Now is my chance." He gave a warm smile. Dean mirrored it, however his had a slight more amount of anxiety. 

Dean stood and took the blanket off his shoulder; he guided him on how to hold his arms and support her in the best way he could. 

"Now don't be nervous okay? Trust yourself." Dean said and slowly lay Storm into his arms. Jack chuckled in astonishment and beamed. Dean cautiously relaxed his stance. 

"She's beautiful. This is the first time I've got a proper look at her. Wow." He said softly. 

"She really is." Cas smiled. "Cmon. I'll show you everything you need to know. We shouldn't be gone for too long." He said and took him to the kitchen. 

The brothers smiled at their family and Dean grabbed his flannel shirt from the back of the chair. He put it on and flicked the collar as usual. 

"Dean, are you sure you're ready?" Sam said. Dean grabbed his boots and began fixing the laces. 

"Of course not, but when am I ever gonna be ready? All I know is that I have a daughter now, that doesn't stop me from doing my job, if anything it drives me more. I need to protect her, Sammy, especially in our case." He shrugged.  
Sam nodded in response. He rubbed his face and shook himself off, getting up and getting ready as well. 

Upstairs, Castiel was noting down pretty much everything that Jack would need to know about caring for Storm, he knew they wouldn't be gone for long.   
"Alright, there's everything you need to know." Cas put the cap on the pen and handed Jack the paper. He read it over and nodded. 

"I'd there's anything you want to ask, just call. We should be too long okay?" He said, grabbing his signature tan coat. 

"I will. We'll be fine." The elder nephilim smiled down at his sister as he bounced her slightly. 

"I know. I'll see you in a bit." Cas said. He stroked his daughters cheek and beamed as she smiled widely. A soft kiss was planted on her temple. 

"Where's mine?" Jack furrowed his brows. Cas sighed and planted a kiss on his sons forehead. 

"Right. I've got to go." He chuckled. He made his way down the stairs to Sam and Dean. 

"Ready to go?" Dean asked. 

"As I'll ever be." He swung his jacket over his shoulders. Dean fixed his collar and drew his thumb across his lips. 

"There's my handsome angel." He said adoringly. Cas eyed Deans lips. 

"Guys! Come on!" Sam said from out front. They chuckled and headed out. 

****  
They stopped at a Gas n Sip to get changed into some more professional looking clothes, Sam went first as there was only one bathroom. Cas noticed that Dean was sniffing and wiping his face a lot. 

"Hey, Dean, are you alright?" He questioned. Dean rubbed his eyes and smiled. 

"Yeah um, it's just weird being here again." He shook his head. Cas looked at him in a perplexed manor. 

"Well, remember when I left without answering your calls and such. I stopped by here to buy a test. The bathroom Sam is in right now is where I found out." Dean gave a soft smile, with a hint of sadness. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The angel leant closer to the human, letting him know that he's loved. Cas wasn't angry at Dean at all, he just wanted to know why he felt like he couldn't tell him. 

Dean shrugged and shook his head. "I was scared. I know with our lifestyles, I'm scared all the time but, I was scared..." He admitted. Teary eyed, Dean looked at Cas. His gentle, warm expression made him feel safe. Castiel cupped his face, earning an adoring smile from him. He grazed his thumb across his under-eyes and his temples. 

"You don't ever have to be scared to tell me something. I love you, Rockstar." He said. He leant in further to seal the conversation with a kiss, but was interrupted by Sam opening the trunk. Cas rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat. 

"Your turn." Sam said as he opened the drivers seat door and chucked a bag of clothes in Deans lap. He took the bag and bathroom key to get changed. Sam sat in the seat behind Cas. 

"How do you think Jack's doing?" He asked. 

"I think he'll be doing just fine. It'll be good for him to feel some responsibility with his sister." He shrugged. Sam raised his eyebrows. 

"Oh so, Jack's your son now?" He said. He tried his best not to seem malicious or mean, he was just curious. 

"I guess. The kid needs a dad Sam, so why not?" 

"Yeah, you're right...I still find it so sweet how excited he got when he found out you had named her Storm." He smiled. 

"He's a sweet kid. And I love the name he chose, Dean does too." The angel said. They both sat in content silence as they waited for Dean to get back. 

Dean put the bag of clothes in the trunk and sat in the drivers seat. He adjusted the mirror and tightened his tie. 

"I can't believe this still fits." He exclaimed. 

"Not bad for someone who had a baby just over a month ago." Cas looked him up and down. 

Dean winked playfully at his boyfriend and the cars engine growled as it started up, and they were on the road again.


End file.
